WARM and WELL

Importance of Play

2012-01-24T14:46:00.000-07:00

I am so lucky to get to stay home with these little ones everyday. Even when days and nights are hard. I mean look at them! How could you not want to be home with them everyday?

Last Saturday Hobbes and I spent a magical afternoon in the snow. He woke up from his nap and it was snowing. Big flakes, the ones that are fun to run around in. He wanted to go out and play so badly. We had to wait for Alice to wake up but it didn't take her long. We got bundled and headed down to my parents. Thane was on his way home from Medical School interviews back East (both went really well by the way). My mom offered to watch Alice so I could just go out and play with Hobbes. This was just perfect. Hobbes and I ran around for a little while. We looked at the footprints we made, ate some snow, made snow angels, and then got the sleds out to sled down the front hill. We ended up doing this into the early evening. First together and then Hobbes no longer wanted me to ride with him anymore. Instead he wanted to go by himself. First couple of times he would hold onto the sides of the sled. The next couple of times halfway down the hill he would raise him arms high into the air like he was riding a roller coaster. Pretty soon from the second the sled stared to move he would raise his arms in the air. At the bottom he would end up falling off the sled and laughing so hard that it was contagious. Pretty soon we were both laughing so hard that Hobbes couldn't even walk up the stairs to get to the top of the hill again. I was crying I was laughing so hard. This was an amazing play moment for me and Hobbes. I think back at it and smile and my heart feels with joy.

This week I have been busy with my new Primary calling. I have been making phone calls, planning sharing times. Along with this I have been trying to keep the house clean, planning pre-school, cooking, changing diapers, finishing projects. However, I have kept in mind that I NEED to play with my kids. If the kitchen is a disaster when my Dad comes to watch my kids in 10 minutes so I can go to a Dentist appointment. That is ok. My Dad won't think any less of me. My kids don't care. And it will certainly not remain dirty forever.

This past weekend and the beginning of this week we have played. Really played. And watching Hobbes and Alice learn to play together is one of the most exciting, fun, and heart warming things in my life right now.

update from last night

2012-01-20T09:06:00.000-07:00

Well around 11pm Alice started to cry. I didn't go in and waited to see if she would stop. She did. I went in around 11:15pm to be a good mommy and cover the kids up with blankets before finally getting into bed myself. Well, Hobbes was still awake. I tell him to lie down and go over to cover up Alice. Hobbes has thrown stuffed animals in on her and I sure that is why she was woken up and crying 15 minutes earlier. Luckily she is just so exhausted from so many late nights and early morning that she was able to just fall back to sleep. But I am done risking it.

I make a bed for Hobbes on the floor in my room. I put him in it and say good-night and crawl exhausted into bed. I no longer hear him talking or moving around midnight and am able to doze off myself.

7:30am....Hobbes is awake and ready for the day. Well, not really ready....but he awake.

Colin is coming up to help me move the crib back into our bedroom today. That will work for now. I am seriously thinking about making the dining room into our bedroom. I think it will work.

We will try putting the kids in the same room again one day, when they are a little older. Maybe when Alice is closer to a year and a half. Hobbes is just too excited to have her in there with him. I can't have another repeat of last night. I am giving up for now, but not forever.

Maybe this isn't working....

2012-01-19T22:50:00.000-07:00

I don't think I can take one more night with my kids being up until 10pm (Hobbes is still currently awake and it is 10:35pm). I can't deal with it. I need a few hours a night with the kids fast asleep where I can decompress. I actually need this. This is not a want, not a bonus, not something that would be nice to have but that I can deal with if it doesn't happen. This is a need.

Hobbes can't seem to understand anger yet. He doesn't understand that when I am angry he needs to listen, that it isn't just a game.

I was at a Primary President meeting tonight. That is right, I was called to be the 1st counselor in the presidency and so we were having our first meeting. It started at 8pm, my parents were watching the kids. I knew Hobbes would not go to sleep with his Papa and Granny showing up right at bedtime so I put Alice to sleep and told my parents I would deal with Hobbes when I got home.

What a fiasco. The meeting went late of course and my parents being the good parents they are got Hobbes in bed, Alice work up and I came home to a screaming baby girl and a hyped up little boy. Hobbes would not settle down. It didn't matter what I threatened, how angry I got, how nicely I talked to him.....nothing. Finally I took him out the room and put him in the pack and play we have set up in our room for just in case moments. I thought he would calm down. When he has calmed down a little we had a nice talk about going to bed, being quiet, not waking up Alice and put him back in his bed. Two minutes later I hear him in there talking loudly. I go in and not only is he talking loudly but he has climbed up on Alice's crib, where she is sleeping, and has thrown stuffed animals in on her and it is a miracle she is still asleep. I don't hesitate to grab Hobbes carry him out of the room before he even knows what is going on, put him in the pack and play and leave him in there crying. I knew he was safe and couldn't get hurt and I just let him cry and yell for me to come in. Finally when he had calmed down I got him, we talked and again with the silliness, so I left the room and he cried and screamed and I waited. He calmed down and I go in and we talk about being quiet. I put him in his bed and have to sit outside the door for 20 minutes reminding him to be quiet until he finally listens. It is now 10:45pm. He may be asleep, I don't know. I don't want to risk checking on him to see.

I am exhausted. I give up. They are not ready to share a room. I am not ready to have them share a room. I need sleep. I need peace. I need to not go to bed frustrated and mad. I know he is only 2, but he is a smart boy, he understands, and he is just not listening. I don't care if it would only take 1 more night of this to get them used to it. I can't do one more night, not right now.

Looks like Alice will move back into our room and we will move back to sleeping on a mattress on the floor in the living room. Either that or I will find someway to turn the dining room into half bedroom half dining room....all I really need is a divider, or a three bedroom apartment....but I will have to wait a little bit longer for that one.

A quick update, list style

2012-01-17T10:40:00.000-07:00

I have a few things that need to be remembered by me.

Alice now has 6 teeth. She LOVES food. It doesn't matter what it is she will eat it. Last night for dinner she ate lentils, carrots, beets.... She eats really well too. So different from Hobbes. Alice eats like her Dad and Hobbes eats like... ahem... his mom, super picky.
Alice and Hobbes are now sharing a room. We moved her crib into Hobbes room on Saturday and so far so good. Saturday night we got the kids into bed at 8:30pm and they laughed the night away until about 10pm. As we listened to them chat outside the door Alice would get quiet then you would hear Hobbes say "Alice, how was your sleep?" Then Alice would squeal and Hobbes would laugh and Alice would laugh. They repeated this over and over. Then Hobbes started to say "Alice, say MAMA." Alice would obediently say "ma ma" and then they would both laugh. It was so fun to listen to them playing with each other. They are going to continue to be such great friends and grow so close. Other than it taking a little longer for them to fall to sleep. Things are looking good and I don't think it will take them too long to adjust to hearing each others sleep noises and just being able to sleep through them.
Alice can now wave hello and good-by. If you tell her to say hi she will wave at you and sometimes say "ha", meaning hi. She loves to wave too. If we are ever leaving the house or entering the house she will immediately start to wave. She says "mama" and "dada". She walks like a pro if she is holding onto fingers and nothing makes her happier than this. She loves walking around everywhere.
Hobbes has gotten to be so sweet with Alice. He still doesn't want her taking the things he is playing with but has gotten better at not taking everything away from her. He has started to wrestle with Alice. She is not too thrilled about this and voices her opinion loudly. He hugs her a lot and talks to her all day long. He is such an amazing big brother.
Thane has two interviews for Medical school this week and then another in two weeks from now. We are really excited and hopeful.

I am a very blessed woman.

Remembering

2012-01-12T22:25:00.000-07:00

My Granny's funeral is tomorrow. Two Christmas's ago she gave each of us a book of poems she has written and compiled over the years. Many of the Grandchildren/Children have chosen to read one of her poems at the funeral. I like the idea that at this very moment many of our family members are reading through this book simultaneously, deciding which poem to read and remembering our Granny, Mother, Mother-in-law, Great Granny all at once.

Donna Rae [Bartlett] Woolf 1923-2012

2012-01-08T20:59:00.001-07:00

My dear Granny passed away this morning around 10:15am. She was in her home with those she loves. She was a magnificent woman. The word magnificent doesn't even do her justice. She taught me a great many things in my life. She taught me how to love deeply and fully and with all my being. She taught me how to enjoy life no matter the trials that come your way. She taught me to be happy and have fun and not to take life too seriously. She had strength and courage and loved the Lord so much. She was a fabulous woman. Everyone that came in contact with her could feel her warmth and love. I will write more about her heroic life later.

My parents called me as I was getting ready for church. My phone was on silent so they called Thane. He answered and they told him that they were headed down to Provo because most likely Granny wouldn't make it through the day. Quickly I called them back to tell them Alice and I would be going down with them. Hobbes and Thane left for church and I headed down to Provo with my parents. We arrived around 10am. I took my coat off, said Hello to those that were already there and headed to her bedroom. A room I thought so special as a child since it was the only room in the house we never played in. She was lying in bed and from the very end of the hallway you could already tell she was close to death. She was pale and her breathing was labored. As I got closer the room was very quiet. My mom was holding her hand and stroking her arm. Her mouth was wide open as she took in her labored breaths. Even Alice realized that this moment was one of great importance and she watched quietly in my arms. Melinda and Jim arrived not minutes after us. Melinda hurried to the side of her mother, took her hand, rubbing her arm and my mom held her other hand. She said out loud to her so she could hear "I love you Mommy, it's me Melinda. I am here. The people you love are here. You are not alone." Not seconds after getting this confirmation that she was surrounded by loved ones she took her last breath. What a moment. I could only imagine as we here on this earth were crying because we already missed her joy , her love, and her hugs so much; she was rejoicing in heaven at a much awaited reunion with the love of her life, her husband, William Woolf, her two sons that passed away in their youth, David and Bart, as well as her grandson who also passed away in his youth. What peace and comfort that brings to me.

I will forever miss her asking me 100 times if I was still hungry, and when answering no, bringing me something else to eat anyway. I will miss playing whimsical games with her. I will miss listening to her tell the story of Priscilla the cat as I lay on her blue carpeted living room floor. I will miss hearing her tell me a thousand times how lucky she was to be married to my Grandpa, how absolutely in love she was with him. I will miss her warm hugs. I will miss her presence in my life and in the life of my children.

But I am grateful to know that I will see her again. I am grateful for her righteous example in my life. I am grateful for her written testimony of the gospel that will always teach and inspire me.

I love you so much Granny, I always will.

Finally!

2012-01-07T12:38:00.000-07:00

I went into Hobbes room this morning to see if he was awake.

He was standing on his bed looking out the window.

I asked "Do you see the snow?"

He looks at me and says "Yes, we can play in this snow."

This is the first snow in over a month that is actually enough on the ground to play in.

We ate breakfast and immediately put on snow clothes to go out and play.

It was the perfect morning.

(Yep, that's my Dad in a giant bird nest, pretending to be a bird. I love my Dad)

A desperate reflection (or: I should take the mirrors out of the house today)

2012-01-06T13:42:00.000-07:00

You know it has been one of those days, the days where your son complains about everything,,,,literally everything, and where at this moment while your son sleeps your daughter fights sleep, screaming in her crib, while all you want to do is maybe just maybe get a nap because you slept horribly last night and have a splitting headache.

You know it has been one of those days when you casually glance at yourself as you pass by a mirror and the reflection looking back at you is not you. It is a much older, ~~worn out~~ exhausted, circles under the eyes woman. Not nearly as good looking as you. A woman who actually did get a shower today but that doesn't matter because this woman needs a break. This woman needs a nap. This woman needs a quiet adult conversation. This woman needs a meal where she isn't feeding anyone other than herself. This woman is a stay at home mother who desperately needs some time off.

You know it has been one of those days when all three people in the home have cried. You know it has been one of those days when all three people sleep at the same time because they are all too exhausted to do anything else.

Yep. It has been one of those days.
Can't wait for tomorrow.

Last Year; 2011

2012-01-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

Here is to a fabulous new year!

Christmas 2011

2011-12-26T15:09:00.000-07:00

We had a very Merry Christmas with lots of family and lots of presents.

Today we took down all of the Christmas decorations and are putting the house together again.

We have 2 garbage bags + 1 box full of items to donate to the DI.

We had to get rid of some old to make room for some new.

Just getting ready for the start of a New Year!

The Nativity

2011-12-23T10:49:00.000-07:00

The Nativity. I collect Nativity sets. I love having them all over the home to celebrate the humble birth of the Savior of the World. It is a great reminder that the King of Kings was born in a manger. The Savior who would atone for all our sins was born quietly in a manger.

Quietly? We really don't know much about his birth. If I could go back in time and witness any event it would be the birth of Jesus Christ. Not to participate, but to watch and better understand the details. My midwife would not like this idea, she feels that whoever is present at a birth should be playing an active role. I imagine the birth wasn't quite as serene and quiet as we would like to imagine. Mary was giving birth remember and she was doing it all naturally. Aimee blogging on Modern Mormon Men brings about an interesting concept that I had never really thought about before. You should read her post, it is worth your time. She wonders about the birthing process of the Savior. Did Joseph deliver? Was there a midwife? I imagine midwives were custom in those days. I would like to think that Mary had a special someone to help her labor, push, and then clean the newborn baby Jesus and help him latch on for his first meal. If there was a midwife she is never mentioned that I know of. If there was a midwife did she grasp the enormity of her services? Did she understand that the little baby she helped to ease out out oh so gently from his earthly mother would atone for the sins of all mankind, including herself. I get goosebumps thinking about this.

Was Mary's labor quick and easy? Did Heavenly Father grant her this for her service of bringing Christ into the World? Or did he give her a long labor of love? So many questions that one day I hope to get to ask. I love hearing about births, all the details of all miracle babies born. Really every birth is miraculous. The details of Christ's birth are not important in my testimony that Christ is our Savior. I know that he atoned for my sins and all mankind. I know that he was brought into the world to teach and lead by example and then make the ultimate sacrifice. I know that he understands me better than anyone and loves me unconditionally. I know all these things and don't need his full detailed birth story to solidify this. I am just curious. I feel for Mary having given birth to two children myself. I feel all mothers have a unique bond, something that ties us all together no matter how different we may be. I feel a closeness to Mary. I cry thinking about her giving birth to her baby, the Savior of the world, wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

2011-12-19T16:07:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately we are unable to send actual Christmas Cards to everyone we know.

But I do want you to know, everyone that reads this blog, that I am thinking of you and wishing you are

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

A few little tid bits about our family in 2011.

Thane: Thane is still currently employed at the Sports Medicine Research and Testing Lab where professional athletes are tested for steroids and drugs of abuse. He really enjoys his job. He loves the research aspect of it and loves the people he works with. They love him there as well and wish that he was going to get his PHD and stay around for a long time rather than go to Medical School. Speaking of Medical School. We applied again this year, 3rd times the charm. So far he has two interviews in January. One with Penn State and the other with the Uniformed Service Medical School. We are excited about both and hope that more interviews will come.

Laina: I am still loving being a stay at home mom. I recently became a Mini-Van mom and am loving it. I spend my days playing with the kids. Trying to stimulate their little brains. We do a lot of painting and drawing. We play with a lot of play-dough. We run a lot, go on walks, dance. I find time in the evenings or during nap times to read, blog, sew, cook. I have loved making time in the evenings to go swimming and feel a boost of happiness in my life when I do so. I love watching my kids learn and grow and play. I feel blessed to get to do so everyday.

Hobbes: Now 2 1/2 years old Hobbes is getting to be so big. He loves motorcycles, construction vehicles, and ATV's (jeeps). He loves to run and nothing makes him quite so happy as having someone chase him around the house or yard. He loves taking baths with his sister. He loves taking toys away from his sister. He loves making his sister laugh. He loves to sing and insert silly lines in as you do so, usually replacing words with names. "There's a right way to live and be MAMA!" He is so smart and has the best memory out of anyone I have ever known. He LOVES Curious George. We read lots of Curious George books and watch lots of Curious George shows. He loves to read. He would be happy reading stories for hours if Alice would let us. He is a very picky eater. He is an observer. He likes to watch other kids play but doesn't join in a whole lot yet. He is shy around people he doesn't know but won't stop talking around people he knows well. His favorite color is still purple. He has no desire to potty train. He loves to brush his teeth with his electric toothbrush. He loves to give bear hugs and mouse hugs.

Alice: 8 1/2 months old! She is crawling all over the place. She pulls herself up to a standing position on everything. She is fearless, which results in a lot of head bonks. She is a water baby for sure. The site of the bath filling up with water makes her squeal and she screams and cries if you take her out of the bathroom when the bath is being filed up. She loves to bath with her brother, this makes her the happiest little girl in the world. She wants whatever Hobbes has and Hobbes doesn't want her to have anything. She is feisty, already throwing tantrums and demanding attention from all. She is a happy girl. Smiling all the time and laughing along whenever someone laughs. She gets into everything. She loves music and to dance with her Dad. She is a Mama's girl at heart though, wanting me to hold her or play with her whenever I am in view. She sleeps through the night, has 3 teeth and a 4th on its way. She is tall and lean. She gives the best hugs in the world.

We are so happy in life. We hope that you are as well and that you have a very Merry Christmas!

In His Words (the Father that is).

2011-12-16T22:43:00.002-07:00

Michael wrote: "OK.. so here is a long Post. We'll Start with Mieken's appointment with her mid-wife on Wednesday, Marggy told Mieken that she was dilated 1cm and 30% effaced, not likely to deliver on time or early basically, and that we might want to start trying to encourage her to get on the ball if we wanted to get her to be on time.. Mieken had some mild cramping that her sister Laina Matthes Campbell said was normal after an exam. so we talked about what we could do to encourage Little Beatrix to get with the program and went out to eat at Long Life veggi house had dinner and went shopping at Harmons on 33rd got a movie and went home, no contractions since before dinner. We got home and milled about for a few minutes and Mieken went to bed and i stayed up and watched Super 8, great movie by the way. after the movie i went to bed about 11pm, no signs of labor. around 2 AM Mieken wakes up from a contraction and writes it off as a Braxton Hicks contraction. she continues to have small contractions in sporadic intervals and intensities and figures its false labor, no way would Bea be on her way after what Marggy said! So around 6:30AM I figure i should start timing these to see what the deal really is.. still rather mild contractions but they were starting to form a pattern of 5-7 minutes apart and 45-60 seconds in duration. Mieken was hungry so i made some oatmeal in between contractions and called my office to let them know that i would be late or might not come in depending on what happened at the hospital. Mean while Mieken had a bad contraction and I decided that we needed to hurry up and get going and she has another contraction. We got in the subaru at started off to salt lake regional hosptial, about 15-25 minute drive, i figured that with first pregnancies women can be in pushing painful labor for hours... Mieken has a BIG contraction on 4500 south, I think to my self HURRY UP you need to get to the hospital.. we got on 7th east and i am driving fast.. we'll leave it at that ;) Mieken's water breaks about 3600 south, 5 minutes from home, and about 3000 south she tell's me that Bea is coming NOW and I need to pull over, I pull strat to pull over, call 911 and park in a stall at the Maverick gas station on 2700 south 700 east. While on the phone i tell the dispatch what is going on and that there is a police officer working a school zone on 7th east and to get him over here and the paramedics on their way P.D.Q. I check Mieken to see what the deal is and can see the crown of Bea's little head.. I went into step by step mode, Step 1 she's crowning, the head is going to be next right? the dispatch tells me to apply light pressure to the head and tells me that she is going to be slippery, I do it,Mieken has another contraction and there she is Beatrix Marie Derrick! screeming into the world in sub 30 degree weather. At this point the police officer has shown up seen what is going on cleans up Bea's nose and mouth while i try to find something to wrap her in which i don't find, one of us puts Bea on Miekens belly, the officer gets a zip-tie from his cruiser for the cord and a towel maybe? that could have come from the paramedics that showed up in the process.. everyone is happy and healthy we talk with the paramedics a bit and Mieken is transferred out of the car and on to a stretcher and into a ambulance baby and all! we headed to St. Marks since it was closest. On the way i call the office and let Janet know that I just delivered my daughter in the parking lot of a gas station, " no joke Janet, in the parking lot", " shut up, No way, Only you mike only you.." so we got to the hospital meet both sets of grandparents, delivered the other bits filled out some papers, gave my keys to my dad and asked that he get the car detailed and cleaned... yes you guys know me and cars... first family second car... any way that is the long and short of it. I delivered my first child and I am so thankful that she is safe and healthy.I am so grateful for out public servants that help us day in and day out, the ever present hand our Lord in our lives and my family and friends! This was the most unreal and awesome expreince of MY LIFE! and i would not change it for anything!"

Welcome to the World

2011-12-15T19:27:00.000-07:00

So last night my sister who was due with her first baby the 18th of December text me to ask if I had ever had contractions after being checked by our midwife. I responded short and sweet "sometimes". Because that is the truth. This morning around 8am I got a text message from her husband Mike stating that they were pretty sure she was in labor and were timing the contractions. About 2 minutes later they called and said they were on the way to the hospital and could I call the Midwife. I said yes. I hung up realizing I didn't have her home number so I called back to say so. Mike said they didn't have the number but he was pretty sure this baby was coming soon. I told him to let me know when they made it to the hospital. About 10 minutes later, way too early to already be at the hospital, he called me again. I answered and he said "IT'S A GIRL!"

Me: "WHAT!!!!!? Mieken had the baby?"
Mike: "On 27th South. The paramedics are here. Everything is ok. Will you call people and let them know?"
Me: "Sure. Let me know when you get to the hospital."

I call my Dad, I call my Mom, I call my Brother. I talk to Thane. I can't believe what has just happened. I want to know details. I want to see my sister and make sure she is ok and hold my niece.

10 minutes later Mike calls.

Mike: "We are on our way to the hospital. They are taking us to St. Marks. Will you let people know? "
Me: "Of course. Congratulations by the way. Is everything ok?"
Mike: Everything is great. Mieken and Bea are in the ambulance. I am following behind them in the car."
Me: "Glad things are ok. We will see you soon."

I proceed to get ready, not able to stop thinking about giving birth in a car. How exciting, scary, cramped, crazy the experience would be.

At 10:30am I arrive at the hospital. Mieken proceeds to tell me:

"I had contractions on and off all night. They were never very strong. Mike slept through them all. I was able to sleep between them. I thought it was false labor. This morning they got a little stronger so we started to time them."

Mike says: "then all of a sudden Mieken was like "aghhhh!" and I knew it was time to go to the hospital"

Mieken continues: "We got into the car and were driving and all of a sudden I thought I could feel her head. I could feel it but then after the contraction it would go back up. All of a sudden I knew she was coming and told Mike to forget about Salt Lake Regional and to go to St. Marks. Mike said he could make it. Then I needed to push. I told Mike, her head is coming, you need to pull over and check. Mike pulled over in the Maverik parking lot on 27th South and 7th East. He called 911 and they asked if he could see her head. My feet were on the dashboard of the Subaru and he said he could see the head. They told him to try and hold the head in, but then another huge contraction came and she was here."

Lucky for them there was a police officer on the side of the road giving a ticket. Mike got him to come over and he mentioned they needed to tie off the umbilical cord. Well what did they have. Maybe they could rip up one of Mieken's swim suits and use it. But instead they found a zip tie and used that."

Well, I guess the paramedics arrived and got her to the hospital. She was fine. Her body temperature was down and they thought she would need to go into the NICU in order to warm her up. But she ended up warming up on her own. She is a healthy happy baby. Her arrival fits her parents perfectly. Known for being notoriously late, they were even late to the hospital. Mike has a love of cars and apparently so does Beatrix. Mike and Mieken both have a love of all things adventure and boy was this an adventure.

Baby Beatrix wasn't able to eat for an hour after being born with all the chaos. I am told when the time came for her to eat she ate like a champ.

Mieken passed the placenta at the hospital and is feeling sore but happy and healthy.

The car is being taken to get detailed by Mike's parents.

I am so happy to have a new little niece to love and hold.

Way to go Mieken! I am sure this is like nothing you ever expected, you wanted to go natural and boy did you ever!
Way to go Mike! You are amazing!

I feel so touched to have a new member of our family. I was not feeling my best yesterday and was worried when I heard that she was in labor that wouldn't get to be at the birth because of sickness. I felt so bad, Mieken was at both of my children's births. I wanted to support her in the same way. I love my sister so much. I am so glad she is strong. I am so glad she has a calm and composed husband. I am so glad we can now share in the joys of motherhood together.

Welcome to the World Beatrix Marie Derrick. (aka; Maverik)
6lbs. 4 oz. 19 inches long.

Yep this is where Baby Bea entered the world.

Right where that blue van is parked.

All decorated for Christmas

2011-12-12T15:55:00.000-07:00

I am so excited for Christmas I almost can't stand it. Christmas has always been fun but add kids to the mix and it is 100 times better. Add kids to the mix that are starting to understand Christmas (the presents and the fact that it is a birthday celebration of Jesus Christ) and it is 200 times better. I can't wait for Hobbes to wake up Christmas morning and see all his gifts. Hobbes is already obsessed with Santa. He met him at our ward Christmas party last Saturday night and he keeps asking me where the North Pole is. I have shown him on his globe and now he will show me where it is. He asks me when Santa is coming and he walks around the house saying "Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!" in a deep Santa Claus voice. We HAVE to have the lights on our tree turned on at all times. Hobbes insists. He loves pointing out all the Christmas lights as we drive around in the evening and it will be fun to take him to Temple Square this year. He is going to be amazed. Everything about Christmas is so magical. It is so much fun watching my children experience the magic of such a beautiful holiday. What a great time of year to celebrate family, to celebrate love, to celebrate the birth of the Savior of the World.

The Tree

The Nativities

The trimmings

The Stockings

Sticks

2011-12-06T13:22:00.000-07:00

It was one of those mornings today. One of those mornings where I questioned my choice of occupation, considered changing my career, and realized once again that it is a little late for that. One of those mornings where Alice cried and wouldn't stop unless being held. One of those mornings where Hobbes found a reason to whine about everything in the world. One of those mornings where I really just wished I was alone in the wilderness with my own thoughts. No noise. No sound other than leaves crackling under my feet, my heart pounding, and the sound of some hard breathing from a strenuous hike just completed. Then there would be me and a magnificent view and I would need no one to share it with. It was one of those mornings.

I text Thane and asked if we could give the kids away. Not forever of course. Just for a day, maybe two. Of course not being very realistic I decided on the next best thing. A walk.

With the 80 MPH winds we had the other day there were still a plethora of sticks lying around, waiting to be gathered by two year old hands. And so we gathered, gathered, and gathered some more. The entire basket of the stroller filled to the brim. Then there were smiles and even some laughter and then some quiet. No noise but the occasional car passing by and the sound of a stick digging in the dirt. And my view was magnificent and there was no need to share it with anyone. It was mine to lock away. I guess that is what is great about my occupation in life. I get all those secret moments, like the look on Hobbes and Alice face as they take in the world.

Book Review

2011-12-04T21:34:00.000-07:00

Two Words: READ IT.

So I haven't seen the movie. Hadn't even heard of the book until the movie came out. Then, for my Birthday in September my little brother Rudi gave me the book. I had heard good reviews about the movie but didn't know anything about it. I am so glad he gave me this book. I love reading books that address civil rights. I have such an interest in this time period. Maybe because it is so hard for me to understand, grasp, comprehend how human beings can treat other human beings so horrifically, because of their differences, and not even realize it. Now I am not saying I am perfect. I am sure I have made my ignorant mistakes. I know I have judged others wrongly. I am not going to try and hide my imperfections. But beating, raping, murdering, firing, putting someone in jail based solely upon the color of their skin....this I do not understand and don't know that I ever will.

This book made me cry, laugh out loud, cringe, applaud, and be thankful that I wasn't raised in the south before the 1980's. I know. There is still plenty of racism today. There is racism other places than in the Southern United States. And I know that this book doesn't depict everyone in the South; I am not stereotyping.

The Author of this book was raised in Jackson, Mississippi with a black maid (gasp, not politically correct!). So while the story is fiction. I am sure it depicts a lot of what she grew up with and saw, and while she is not black herself and can not in anyway speak for the Southern Black woman, she admits that. I like that she admits that. I like her writing. I like her depiction. I likes her Novel.

Read it. Even if you have already seen the movie. You will not be disappointed. (and if you are, I am sorry)

...

2011-12-02T15:23:00.000-07:00

Good news.

I have the feeling there will be more.

Good things are to come.

Thankful in November

2011-11-29T13:32:00.000-07:00

(Photo by Deb Newey)

This little girl decided to sleep for 12 hours straight last night!

No waking up.

No crying.

Just sleeping.

I haven't slept that well since before being pregnant with Alice.

With Hobbes it took two nights of crying and then he has slept through the night ever since. With the exception of waking up from a bad dream or because he is sick. Lets hope it is the same with Alice.

Thankful November is almost over

2011-11-28T12:54:00.000-07:00

November has not been the greatest of months for our family. We have spend November sick with the flu and sick with colds. We have spent November exhausted because Alice decided that she needed to be waking up all night long and snuggling with us in our bed. We have spent November car shopping, which is a tired and daunting process, which isn't over yet.

And most recently we have spent November letting Alice cry it out. So now instead of being tired, we are exhausted. Starting Saturday night, because I was just so tired and grumpy and couldn't take feeding Alice one more time in the night, I told Thane to take pillows and blankets into the living room. I would hold Alice while screaming until she fell asleep and then we would set up a makeshift bed in the living room since Alice is still sleeping in our room, something to change soon I hope. She cried and cried and cried. She fell asleep and I left the room and she woke up 5 minutes later and cried. She cried from 11pm until 2am. Then she slept until 7:30am. Sunday night she fell to sleep at 8pm, I heard her form our bed in the living room at 12am crying, but she only cried for 10 minutes. Then she woke up at 3am. She cried and cried and Thane went in to check on her. She was cold of course since neither of our children can ever keep a blanket on them. He put a blanket on her and turned on a heater and she cried on and off until 4am. Then she slept until 8am. Hopefully tonight she will sleep even better and withing 1-2 weeks she will be sleeping well enough to be moved into Hobbes room and not wake him up during the night. I can't wait to have our room back to ourselves with no kids. Hopefully it will be our Christmas present this year.

So although November has been a rough one this year there have also been glimpses of good. Warm sunny days perfect for playing outside, a mobile baby (this can be good and bad), time with family and friends that we see often and those we don't get to see much. As well as preparations for Christmas and thoughts of how to share to share the joy of the Birth of Christ with my children.

Good-bye November (soon). I will not miss you too much this year. I am looking forward to December and snow.

A glimpse of our Christmas

2011-11-22T15:16:00.001-07:00

Some Christmas prints for the Children. Although I don't know that they can really appreciate them now. But one day.

(Paola Andrea Zakimi.)

Since Hobbes has been born I have been looking for a piece of art for him that exemplifies who he is. That stands out as something that is meant for him. I have searched and searched with no luck. I found prints, painting, sketches that I liked, but nothing that I felt told the story of who my little Hobbes is. He is so much. I wanted a piece of art that not only showed who Hobbes was as an individual but something that he wouldn't grow out of too quickly . Something he could still have hanging in his room as a teenager boy and not feel too embarrassed about when friends come over. Today I found it. The above painting by Paola, found on ETSY. This is my Hobbes. He is kind, he is gentle, he is sweet, he loves fully. Hence the little boy sleeping on a bird, you would need all of these qualities in order to do so. He is adventurous, brave, and sure of himself. Again qualities needed to get up on the bird in the height of a tree. He is an observer of others, watching them closely to understand them, and then empathising with them. His view from way up high on the bird, watching and taking care of all of us.

(Emily Winfield Martin)

Alice was easier. I found this print on ETSY a couple of months ago and it just screamed Alice. Alice is adventurous, brave, strong willed. Hence the ability to dance with a bear. She is joyful, charismatic, contagiously happy. The joy of song and dance. She is friends with anyone that will pay her any attention. The friendliness between girl and bear. She loves, trusts, and enjoys life to the fullest. Trusting and loving the bear, dancing to the wonderful beats of life.

I love my children. All that they are.

Aquarium

2011-11-21T13:29:00.000-07:00

I have never been to the Aquarium (gasp!), until today that is.

My sister-in-law is in town from Washington with her little girl and she rounded up all the sister-in-laws and their children (that are not in school) and we took the kids to the aquarium this morning. It was pretty packed but we still has a lot of fun. I thought is was enjoyable. It will even be better once the new one is built since they are going to include otters. Otters may be one of the most entertaining animals on the face of the planet. I could have stayed and watched the penguins longer but Hobbes was not too interested in them. Hobbes enjoyed it even more than I thought he would, especially petting the sting rays, which I don't have pictures of, but he wasn't scared one bit, just stuck his hand in and called them over and then pet them, he loved it.

(Get ready for lots of pictures of the back of children's heads.)

Cousins

The eels were neat and gross at the same time.

Penguins

Hobbes really like the cockroaches.

Who would have thought?

Playing in and around the caves.

Hobbs wanted a flashlight.

Lucky for him I have one on my keys.

Lucky for me he is a pretty responsible 2 year old and didn't leave me keys in the caves.

Advent

2011-11-18T15:08:00.000-07:00

I have wanted a Christmas Advent for some time now. I have put it off since Hobbes has been too little to really be able to do one and Thane doesn't really care about one, so I just put it off. Until this year. I knew Hobbes would enjoy the countdown until Christmas, even though he doesn't really know what Christmas is, the countdown in itself would be fun.

Growing up my mom had made a tree out of fabric that we pinned little wooden Christmas characters into each night. Taking turns between the four children. Counting down until Christmas. I loved it. As an adult I love the simplicity of the idea. Christmas season is crazy enough that I don't need an advent where it tells us an idea, game, book to read each day. Christmas is full of goodies and presents so I didn't want an advent where my children get more goodies and presents every night as they count down to even more presents.

I wanted simplicity. So I made simplicity. A Pine Tree that we will pin snowflakes on until the last day when the star will go on top, making it a Christmas Tree and symbolizing the birth of Christ.

The only thing left to do is hot glue the pins to the snowflakes, get a hanging rod, and it is ready for the 1st day of December.

Happy Countdown.

Walking

2011-11-15T17:27:00.000-07:00

So to be accurate she is not really walking yet. But as I mentioned before she is able to pull herself up on everything. Her newest development. Pulling herself up to the coffee table and walking around the entire thing (while holding on of course). This little girl is motivated and strong and nothing is going to stop her. Watch out world.

The Weekend @ a glance

2011-11-13T10:35:00.000-07:00

5:30am Friday: Alice wakes up and throws up 3 times. We change the sheets in her crib clean her up and then she rolls over on the bed snuggled next to Thane and falls to sleep.

7:30am Friday: I wake up and feel awful.

9:00am Friday: Thane goes to work

10:30am Friday: I run to the bathroom to throw up. My mom is off from work luckily and takes Hobbes to her house and Alice and I take a nap.

12:00pm Friday: Alice and I are awake and my stomach is in knots. I call Thane and tell him he needs to come home.

12:15pm Friday: My mom comes and gets Alice, I go back to bed

1:00pm Friday: Thane is home taking care of the kids. I spend the rest of the day in bed.

5:30pm Friday: I get up, I get a drink. Thanes goes to the store to get ginger ail and saltine crackers. I eat some and start to feel better. Take medicine and my headache goes away. I am on the upward slope.

9:30pm Friday: I go to bed.

Saturday: Feeling ok all day. Am able to do a few things. Thane takes Hobbes to his swimming lesson. Tired and hungry most of the day.

1:00am Sunday: Thane wakes me up to let me know that Hobbes has thrown up. I go into his room. We change his sheets and clean him up. We give him a bucket, read more stories, sing more songs, put him back to bed.

7:30am Sunday: I wake up. Thane is not in bed, he comes into the room looking pale. I ask if he is sick and he nods and crawls into bed and falls back to sleep.

8:00am Sunday: I hear Hobbes coughing and go to check on him. He has gotten out of bed and for some reason made his way to the kitchen where he has thrown up. Lucky for me I can wipe it up, its not on the carpet. I clean him up, change him, get him watching Curious George. Then go clean his bed. He must have thrown up again in the night. Strip his bed, go down to start a whole lot of wash.

10:30am Sunday: So far on the day of rest I have done 3 loads of wash with two more to go, made a bed, mopped a floor, emptied and filled a dishwasher, took 5 minutes to eat a sweet roll with milk (yum, just what I needed), changed diapers. I am getting ready to clean the bathroom, change more diapers, do more laundry, and put some children down for a nap. Then maybe I will have a little me time to read a book.

Lucky for us there is no one left in our house to get sick so this should be the end of it.
Not the best of weekends but we survived.
(And we even got our flu shots! SHEESH!)

The internal thoughts of Laina on November 7, 2011

2011-11-07T13:24:00.000-07:00

I guess I have been missing as of late. I have been busy. Alice is crawling like a pro, so with that said, I have two kids moving wildly around the house, I have been busy. I am thinking about the holidays, I am sewing, I was dreading a Dentist appointment that ended up being canceled today. I don't know if that is good or not. I was going to be happy to have the cavity filling over with. Anyway, life persists forward, without a breather, without a second to stop and reflect. As least that is how I have felt as of late. I have felt like I am trapped in a whirlwind. There is something taking up every second of my day. Yesterday I fell to sleep while putting Alice to sleep. The warmth of the heater was blowing right on us and it was already dark outside at 5pm and I was snug with my baby girl in my arms, not moving, and the next thing I know, I am asleep.

The snow. I wasn't ready for the snow; until I saw Hobbes outside playing in it for a full hour with his dad and Grandparents ( I was hosting a baby shower; Mieken is due with little Beatrix in a month). He was so excited to touch it, throw it, eat it. Rewind to early in the morning. The snow is coming down pretty heavy. I am waking Hobbes up because we need to get ready to go to our first morning of swimming lessons. Snow doesn't really make you want to jump into a swimming pool, but luckily the water was heated warm enough that Hobbes was able to last the whole lesson before his lips turned blue. Now I am getting excited for skiing and sledding and playing in the snow. I am loving that it has been cold enough to wrap myself in a blanket, to pull out our down comforter for the bed, to take hot showers.

I often find myself realizing how lucky I am throughout the day. So lucky to live where I do, to have two beautiful children, and a close to perfect husband, very close. I often find myself thinking of what life would be like right now if Thane and I had postponed starting a family, if we would have put if off until the timing was "perfect". This thought always makes me sad, so I don't know why I keep thinking about it, but I do. I picture myself going to work day after day, a job that I loved, that was very fulfilling. A job that I could possibly do again one day. I picture myself attending conferences and dressing more elaborately as I used to. I think of Thane working and applying to medical school. I think of the large salary we would have with two incomes. The house we would own. The trips we could take......... But then I realize how sad that would be, what a huge void there would be in my life. My family is my life. Thane and I have sacrificed a lot, in the perspective of others, in order to have a family, just like many people do. But I don't feel I have sacrificed a single thing because all of those things that we could have if without children mean nothing in comparison to the joy that our two children bring us. I am grateful. I am grateful because I know that many can't have children. That many are single and not married. I am grateful because I know what I have been given is the greatest gift I could imagine. the unconditional love, the tender mercies, the life long learning.

Alice is 7 months old now. She is not only crawling but is pulling herself up on furniture to a a standing position. She belly laughs a lot and it gets the whole family laughing. She has such a joyful smile and flashes it all day long. She loves to dance, she adores her brother and Dad. She is learning and growing so quickly. She loves water, she is my water baby, maybe my future swimmer. She loves animals. She is loving and wild.

Hobbes is 2 1/2 and a smarty pants. He is growing so tall. He is quiet and reserved around others but a wild boy at home. He spends his day running. That is his favorite thing to do. Running and Jumping. He knows his colors, shapes, animals, letters, numbers. He loves to paint and draw. His watercolors are hanging all over that house. He is very sensitive to how others feel. He loves to converse and misses his Dad while he is at work. He has so much love to give.

Life. It is crazy to think that my Opa passed away at 98 years old. What a long time to be on this earth. 98 years. Think of the wisdom I could have if living that long and exercising my mind, cultivating my talents. His childhood was so very different from that of my own children that are just starting their lives, just beginning to learn what they like, what they can do, they are free to be whoever it is they want to be. And while I know that some of their choices with pain me, will be hard to watch, will cause anxiety and angst. I know that I will always love them, how could I not? Hopefully they will always know this. Hopefully I will always be able to handle every situation with love and kindness and when I don't? Well, there is always "I'm Sorry".

Halloween

2011-11-01T20:42:00.000-06:00

Ok. So I am not the biggest Halloween person out there. I like it because it is something fun that comes along once a year. It is a change from everyday life. There is an excuse to eat a lot of candy. But I am not a fanatic. I don't go all out dressing up, I don't attend parties, now that I have kids I just trick or treat. That is enough Halloween for me. Maybe one day I will help with Halloween parties in school (if they still allow them).

So this year Thane and I took Alice out trick or treating. We skipped out on the trunk or treat. It didn't sound too exciting to me. Hobbes doesn't really care if he sees other kids he knows dressed up or not. And he really doesn't need all the extra candy.

We opted to do the fun trick or treating, door to door. We went to only about a dozen houses in our area and Hobbes came back with his little pumpkin bucket FULL. It was fun, it was a nice mild night, perfect for being out, and we enjoyed the time as a family.

Hobbes was too shy to say trick or treat and refused to say it even once, not even to the grandparents. But he was not shy about sticking his hand in a candy bucket and taking a handful of candy (usually followed by people giving him another handful). When we got home I felt as though I needed to dump out all the candy and start counting it. I always had to do this for school so I guess it is ingrained in my head.

All day today he has been asking me "can I have a trick or treat". Why yes, cause you are so stinkin' cute.

An Update + Conversations with Hobbes

2011-10-23T14:57:00.000-06:00

I need to document a few things in my life. So here I go, in a list, well sort of a list.

Alice has two bottom teeth now. She bit me nursing a couple of times but my loud and quick reaction was all it took and she was done biting.
Alice moves all over the place now. That is because she is officially CRAWLING! What?!!! That is my reaction too. She is not even 7 months old yet. This seems early to me. Maybe that is because Hobbes would not crawl until he was certain he could do it without falling. So he was almost 10 months by the time he started to crawl and then did it perfectly. Alice did not want to wait, she really really really wants to be able to keep up with her brother. She struggles and is really slow but is crawling. Yesterday I was filling up the bathtub so the kids could take a bath. Alice was playing in Hobbes room. I turned around to go get her and to my surprise there she was, about to enter the bathroom. Most of the time she is exhausted by the time she gets to her destination and has to lay down and suck her finger for a minute or two to recharge.
Alice sucks her finger, not her thumb, her index finger, on her right hand. This is AWESOME! I never thought I would say that. But she can self soothe so easily because of it. It helps her fall to sleep on her own and helps her calm down when she gets hurt. She doesn't suck her finger all the time. It isn't constantly in her mouth. Just when she is tired or sad.
Hobbes is 100% not interested in potty training. I have been ok with this. I have just been waiting for him to be ready so the process can take a couple of weeks rather than a few months. So we talk about it and mention it to him throughout the day. But he is not ready. Hopefully soon or there will be a little more nudging.
Hobbes is just as sweet as ever with a crazy never ending amount of energy. The only way I get a rest from running around the house or outside with this boy is if I put on a television show. Otherwise we just move move move all day long. Fun but exhausting. The other day I was putting him down for a nap and was singing him songs. He was jumping in his bed as I did this (Did I mention we finally got him out of his beloved crib. He is now is a twin bed and loves it. It was really easy too. He is such a good boy, he doesn't try and sneak out. If we tell him to stay in his bed he does. He will just play in his bed until he falls to sleep. He is such a good kid.) Back to the story. Hobbes was jumping, I was singing and thinking he wasn't paying too much attention. But as soon as I stopped he looked at me and said "mom, that was beautiful." I love him.
Yesterday we went to Nordstrom Rack to utilize a gift card I had. On our way there Hobbes tells me that he will play with the toys when we get there. He is so used to the D.I. I told him there were not toys at this store. I told him we were going to get him some shoes. He responds to this by saying "First we will play with toys. Then we can get shoes." Again I told him there were no toys. Right then we pulled into the shopping center, passing Toys R Us and he points and says "That store has toys."

Thane and I have been talking about what we will do if he doesn't get into Medical School this year. Nothing is set in stone. Everything is up in the air. But another option has been Chiropractic school. We could apply to medical school again. Or recently Thane has become interested in a PHD. The Lab Director at his current job has told him he could get him into almost any Chemistry PHD program and they would work out something for him so stay on board at work while doing it. So I could end up with a Doctor husband of another kind. I am happy with whatever he chooses as long as it makes sense and he is happy.

That's all for now.

Family Portraits

2011-10-20T10:16:00.001-06:00

For my Mom's birthday back in May we gave her a gift certificate for a family photo shoot. We waited until Colin got back from his mission in September and scheduled a time in October. My amazingly talented friend Deb took the pictures. We are in love with them.

To see more of our family pictures and more of Deb's amazing work go here Salty Snapshots.

St. George Get Away

2011-10-17T15:40:00.001-06:00

We had a fabulous 1/2 week in St. George with my family. We missed Mieken and Mike and wished they could have been there, but sometimes life gets in the way of fun vacations. That usually sucks. However, the rest of us headed down south for some sunny mid 80 degree temperatures and we loved every minute of it.

First we did some hiking in Snow Canyon. It was hot, but not too hot, but pretty much the whole hike was in sand. Boy was this a good workout. I was exhausted, especially with carrying 16 extra pounds of Alice on me. Colin and I figured it out, that I weighed pretty much same amount as him when carrying Alice, pretty fun fact right?

Here I am weighing the same amount and my youngest brother.

Hiking in the sand, sand, and more sand.

I had to go barefoot.

Keens are not made for hiking in sand.

Boy do I look tired and I was.

The two boys in their awesome sunglasses!

After hiking we took some time to eat, rest, and play in the sand.

Papi taking his turn carrying Alice on the way back.

Then we did a whole lot of swimming. We pretty much had the whole community pool to ourselves and it was so nice. Hobbes prefers to play with the water but not get in. He gets cold really easy and is still not real comfortable with water. This is why we start Mom/Tot swim lessons next month. Alice on the other hand is a water baby. She loves swimming. If ever she is grumpy, just put her in some water and this girl is as content as ever.

And then there was Sand Hallow. A beautiful reservoir just 40 minutes from where we were staying. Not a lot of people, beautiful views, nice weather, and red rock sand.

canoeing

splashing

jumping

throwing

waiting.

crawling.

face planting.

building.

posing.

Could we have had more fun?

I don't think so.

Well, maybe Thane would have thought so if he would have brought his clubs and snuck in a little golf, but for the most part it was perfect!

And so the Cold Weather had begun, but hopefully won't stay, not yet.

2011-10-06T14:23:00.000-06:00

I am not ready for winter weather yet. I want more autumn. I want to play outside in the barley chilly air and not be cold and wet.

Although, I don't mind an occasional day like today. The radiators are warm. The house smells like winter. The overcast sky. The kids and myself in cozy winter sweats and leggings. All this makes me want to curl up on the couch and read a good book or watch a good movie with a cup of hot tea.

I do like the change of seasons from warm to cold. I am just not quite ready for constant cold yet.

All this change in weather has also made me realize that I have pretty much no warm clothing for Alice. I had to dig through boxes of Hobbes old clothing to find something for her to wear today. Uh Oh. She is most likely going to be one of those babies that everyone will think is a boy cause she is stuck wearing her brothers hand-me-downs.

That's just how it goes sometimes.

I am stuck with cold weather and Alice is stuck with boys clothing.

Story of a Grasshopper

2011-10-04T16:08:00.000-06:00

Look Dad, there it is.

Maybe I will try and hold it....

Not so sure that I like this thing on my shoulder.

"Boing, Boing, Boing"

Fall activities and Conversations with Hobbes

2011-10-02T15:23:00.000-06:00

Our family took a short trip up to the Cabin this weekend. Thane couldn't get a full day of Friday off work so we headed up Friday around 2pm and then came home Saturday afternoon so Thane could go to Priesthood session of conference with his brothers and dad. I am glad we went, even if it was short. It was beautiful as always. In fact, I think that fall is my favorite time up there. The leaves are amazing. The weather is beautiful. I love the fall. I think I say this multiple times every year but I relish in fall.

Just recently Hobbes has decided that he should have grown up conversations with us. In other words he has started to figure out the art of "small talk".

We are in the car driving up to the cabin:

Hobbes: How is work doing Dada?"
Thane: It is going well.
Hobbes: What you doing now Dada?"
Thane: "I am going to the cabin with my family"
Hobbes: "How is your family doing Dada?"
Thane: "They are doing well"
Hobbes: "How is your exercise doing Mama."
Me: It is going well, thanks for asking.

We took the small jeep up the hills and into the Unitas's. I don't remember the last time I smelled air so fresh. I took deep breath after deep breath. The air was so fresh it was almost sweet.

The leaves were in the midst of changing. The green with the reds, yellows, and oranges made for a beautiful view. As we were driving to the cabin Thane commented that "the drive alone was worth it." I agreed completely. It was just what we all needed. A small vacation that didn't take a lot of planning or packing. Just throw a few things together and go.

Hobbes and Alice obliged for a photo shoot. I couldn't help myself, the beautiful colors and two beautiful kids and they needed to be photographed together. Hobbes was so excited to hold Alice and Alice was happy to be held. She loves every ounce of attention she receives from her big brother.

Today as Hobbes and Alice were sitting at the table, Hobbes was eating his lunch, I was getting food for Alice, I looked into the dining room and watched this interaction taking place:

Hobbes speaking to Alice: "Mom is getting your food.:
Alice: laughs
Hobbes: laughs
Hobbes speaking to Alice: "Mom is getting your food Alice".
Alice: laughs
Hobbes: laughs

It was so cute. I can't wait until Alice can actually converse with him.

At the beginning of September we discovered the perfect river bed in the gully. Private and shaded and shallow it was the perfect spot to hang out on those hot September days we had.

Hobbes could throw rocks all day. 45 minutes would go by with him throwing rocks and hitting things with sticks. We would always have to leave before he was ready, which doesn't happen often. Alice would put her feet in and enjoy watching the splashes coming from rocks hitting the water.

Thank you fall for being the perfect time of year for our family to explore the world. I want so badly for Hobbes and Alice to grow up with a reverence for nature. I spent my childhood outside playing, camping on every long weekend possible, and hiking until as a teenager I didn't think I would want to hike ever again. I want Hobbes and Alice to appreciate the beauty all around them. To discover all there is.

While hiking at the cabin Hobbes found a cricket and picked it up. Today all day he has been telling us "I picked up a grasshopper all by myself."

Dear Alice,

2011-10-01T20:01:00.000-06:00

Now that you have your first tooth please be aware you are not allowed to bite when nursing.

Thanks.
Love, Mom

Alice Finally got her first tooth today. One day prior to her six month birthday. She was born General Conference weekend in the spring so I watched conference in the hospital for the Sunday session. I missed the Saturday session. She was born at 10am so I had just given birth for the morning session and that afternoon was just taking in all the joy of being a new mom.

She is growing up so quickly. She is sitting up now, she even has pushed herself up from being on her tummy almost to a sitting position and she scoots herself all over the floor. Next comes crawling. JOY! This is so much fun.

East of Eden: Book Review

2011-09-26T22:20:00.000-06:00

So I know I am behind the times. Most of you have read this and read all of Steinbeck, but this was my first of Steinbeck's (gasp), there will be more to come.

Now for the review.

I am not going to spend a lot of time going into detail about this book. I really enjoyed it immensely. I made me think. I was in need of a book to really make me think. I will now give you a rundown on characters and my thoughts. This book is focused on each character and so strong feelings and associations are made. I will now share mine. (of most characters, not all)

Lee: Don't we all wish we had a mentor in our lives as giving and wise as Lee? You are perfection with a little bit of self doubt. I love you as a best friend.

Samuel: You are happiness. You are creativity. You are good.

Liza: You are stubborn. You are selfless. You are good.

Tom: I like you. Please don't give up on yourself and the world.

Adam: I can't stand you. I feel bad for you and many of the bad things that happened to you. But get over it all ready. You have two boys who need you, you are totally financially secure, you have Lee. Move on. Stop dwelling on the past, work out your issues. Stop pining.

Charles: You are mean and cruel....I don't much care for you....and don't much care that you were lonely. I do feel an ounce of sadness at the way your life turned out. I do not hate you.

Cathy (Kate): I do hate you. You ruined so many other peoples lives without caring at all about it. I feel bad for you; the fact that you cannot feel. You do not know what it is like to be loved and to love in return. You do not know goodness and kindness. However, this fact does not excuse your cruelness and hatred.

Aron: At first I liked you. I worried for you that your brother would hurt you. I thought you kind and loving. It turns out that like your father I can't stand you. You are too self involved, you think only of you and not once of other people. You are selfish. I don't care for selfish people.

Abra: You are wonderful. You are smart, intelligent, you care about others. You have good and you have bad and you realize that is the way people are made. You realize you don't have to choose one or the other. You are both. You deal with it. You move forward. You understand yourself and others.

Cal: You are my favorite. At first I was unsure about you. I wondered if you would be too much like Charles. Cruel. You are not. You have tendencies that are cruel but you understand them to be and either stop yourself or at least feel guilt. You are trying to learn, to figure out your life, to embrace the good and the bad (the rotten mother, the gutless father, the selfish brother, the tender mentor, the sincere girlfriend). You are learning and growing and outgrowing. You are human.

"Timshel!" (Thou Mayest): No matter how deeply rooted a sin -there is always a chance for redemption. We come to this realization, this knowledge in different ways. We fall down and we get back up. We push someone else down and we apologize, make up for it, and move on. We live. We learn. We forgive. We remember. We forget. We are human; this is wonderful.

Meet "Tag"

2011-09-23T14:21:00.000-06:00

You have all met monkey from a previous post. Monkey is Hobbes best friend. His security toy. When feeling sick or tired Monkey gets carried everywhere, hugged and is held tight to the body. When feeling excited Monkey is thrown all over the house. When watching TV monkey is snuggled with. While eating dinner, Monkey gets to eat too. When going to bed Monkey is played with, then talked too, then hugged all night long. If Hobbes wakes up in the night and can not find him he will start to cry until one of go into his room and help him find him. He is loved.

But now it is time for you to meet "Tag". This is what Hobbes calls two identical receiving blankets he has had since a baby. He calls them "Tag" because he loves to rub the silky tag between his fingers.

Tag is a light flannel baby receiving blanket with pictures of dogs and bones all over it. These blankets came in a set of 4. We have two others, one that is striped, and one that has paw prints on it, you can not refer to these as tag, they can not be substituted for tag, believe me, I have tried. Lucky for us there are two of the same blue dog blankets and he doesn't notice the difference between, these are both "Tag". So not only does Hobbes have a security monkey but he has a security ~~blanket~~ tag as well. He needs to hold this tag between his fingers to go to sleep. He carries tag around and plays with him and monkey. And when in need of extra love he sits in my lap with both tag and monkey and we sing songs.

These two items have been a life savor. They have helped Hobbes fall to sleep all on his own since he was very young. They help him to fall to sleep on his own in new environments. I don't know what I would do without them, and I wonder at what point he will outgrow them. Will I ever outgrow them? I feel as though they are part of our family.

Dear Hobbes,

2011-09-23T14:09:00.000-06:00

You really are getting to be so big. I am feeling a little sad about this. I want to freeze time right now and hold you as my little boy forever. You are so smart. You learn new phrases everyday. Today you picked up two toy apples, one was green and one was red. You walked over to Colin and told him that the red one matched him. He was wearing an orange shirt. Then you told him the green one matched you, you were wearing a green shirt. And then you told us all that the green one matched the cactus. I don't know where you learned about matching, but you did.

You love to talk, I think this is your favorite thing. You never stop, unless watching Curious George which is your all time favorite show right now. I don't mind this at all, it is a really cute show that even makes me laugh. Currently when you ask for things instead of saying "can I have some chocolate?" You say "Can I want some chocolate?" It is very cute.

Although you are not interested in your little sister very much right now you do love when you can make her laugh. You love when she takes baths with you. You love when I carry both you and Alice. You do not like when she plays with certain toys of yours and will take them away but will always offer another toy instead. You are very kind and sweet.

Your imagination is growing and you make up games to play throughout the house. I love watching and listening to you. Although your favorite game is to run and have people run with you. You probably spend at least 2 hours a day just running.

You still love to jump, you have since you were a baby. You never stood still in our arms, you were always bouncing. Now you jump on the bed, in your crib, and on Grandma and Opa's trampoline. You don't like to jump when other people are on the trampoline and get sad at Sunday dinners when the cousins are jumping.

Recently when you start to cry you run out of the room to hide and say "no, no, no" over and over again. You don't want to cry which surprises me since your Dad and I have always let you know it is ok to cry. But you have decided you don't want to and that you don't want other people to see you crying.

Hobbes, I love you. I love the person you are. I love how sweet and kind you are. There isn't a bad thought in your mind. Recently you have been whacked in the head with sticks and croquet mallets by other kids your age. Witnessing this behavior and being a recipient of it has not changed the sweet boy you are. You never have a thought to hit, push, or take things away from others (besides your sister and then you take your toys away). You worry when you see others crying and you are very sensitive to the feelings of others. You cried not that long ago while watching Winnie the Pooh cause the heffalump was crying cause he wanted his mom. You cried because you empathised and understood what that felt like.

I learn so much from you everyday. I learn how to have joy in the simple things in life. I learn to love unconditionally. I learn have trust in others. I learn to not rush but enjoy the moment.

I love you.

Love, Mom

This is The Place 2011

2011-09-23T13:45:00.000-06:00

What a beautiful day!

I love fall. I really cannot express with words how much I love the fall.

The crisp air, the glorious sun that isn't burning our skin, the leaves getting ready to change color.

The smell....oh the smell.

There is not a better smell in the world that the smell of a Utah autumn.

We have been taking advantage of the fall weather by playing out in the yard and going to parks.

Today we invited Colin and headed up to This is The Place Heritage Park.

It didn't disappoint.

It was the perfect way to spend out ~~money~~ morning.

Wow. Talk about growing up. Hobbes has become a little boy as of late. He doesn't seem like so much of a toddler anymore, except when he wants me to hold him and sing him songs before bed, something I will always love. Well maybe I won't always love it. I think that there would become a point in time where I would feel strange holding him on my lap and singing songs.

(Picture a 13 year old in your mind, its 10pm at night, he just finished homework, yes, this would be strange.)

But currently I love it.

Hobbes wanted to ride the pony and I thought he might be timid about it. Nope.

I put him on the horse and he was ready to go.

I think he liked it, didn't love it.

He didn't ask to go again.

Alice loves animals.

She kicks her legs like crazy and moves her arms so fast whenever an animal comes into view.

She loves feeling their fur and if its a dog, getting licked in the face.

We all enjoyed petting the pigs, goats and lambs, none of which tried to lick her face.

And the train.

We rode the train which is nice and relaxing.

We learned that Brigham Young initially farmed 850 acres of land planting all different sorts of seeds to see what would do well in the Utah climate. Eventually learning that many types of fruits do well as well as alfalfa.

We learned that scrub oak is the oldest plant we know of other than the redwood trees in California. It can live as long as 2-4 thousand years.

It was fun.

Good to spend time with my newly returned home from a mission brother.

Hobbes already adores him.

And Alice, well, she adores anyone that looks at her.

Almost 6 months

2011-09-20T14:48:00.000-06:00

I haven't been very good on making updates about Alice, I was much better with Hobbes. Then again, I had more free time when it was just 1 child, so I can't feel too guilty. So here is an update. Alice is 5 1/2 months old, almost 6 months, almost half a year. That is so crazy. Time has flown by with this little girl. The first 6 months with Hobbes were so slow, time stood still, but with Alice I can't believe she is old enough to be starting eating solids soon will be sitting up.

So yeah, she is not sitting up yet, I am pretty sure that Hobbes already was by now but I am not really comparing. They are so different in so many ways. Alice has no desire to sit up because if you are sitting that means you are not moving. All Alice wants to do is move. She is constantly kicking her legs, they never take a break. She is wiggly and not one to just sit in your lap.

Alice rolls all over whatever room you set her in. She is a rollie pollie little girl and it is so much fun. She will roll and roll until a piece of furniture gets in way and then she will scream and yell and cry because she is stuck. She is already getting into crawling position. She gets up on all fours and rocks back and forth. I feel like this is early....but don't really know, She scoots herself forward by smashing her face into the ground and pushing as hard as she can with her legs. It works and she makes it to whatever her goal is.

We have tried solids a few times, but yesterday was the first day she actually swallowed any of the food on purpose so we are getting closer to making it more of an everyday thing instead of a once every two week thing.

She is still super happy, all smiles. She is very long, outgrowing clothes like crazy. She loves Hobbes no one can make her laugh as hard as he can.

When Alice is tired we lay her on the floor in the living room and Hobbes then climbs up on our red chair and jumps off over and over again. Each time he jumps Alice bursts out in laughter. She laughs so hard she can barley breath. We have to have Hobbes stop for a minute sometimes so she can catch her breath. By the end of it we are all crying from laughing so hard.

She likes the bouncer, cause she can move in it.
She drools so so much and soaks whatever she is wearing in 5 minutes.
She is getting teeth.
She is not spitting up nearly as much as she used too.
She LOVES her Dad so much and once he is home from work refuses to look away from him and then gets the biggest smile in the world every time he even glances at her.
She sleeps pretty well, waking up only once per night (usually). She is still sleeping in our room. We have to wait until she is sleeping really well so move her into Hobbes room since he is such a light sleeper and we don't want her waking him up.

We love this little Alice of ours. We love her happy personality and her squeals and coos. We don't not love her screaming bloody murder when in the car seat but we deal with it cause we love her.
So glad she is a part of our family.

Obituary

2011-09-16T17:26:00.002-06:00

Roland Matthes

1913 ~ 2011
Our beloved father, grandfather and great grandfather, passed peacefully into the loving arms of his Heavenly Father on September 13, 2011. Roland Wolfgang Matthes was born on April 23, 1913 to Rudolf and Anna Matthes in Annaberg, Germany.
Roland was an exemplary student. He was also a member of the christian boy scouts where he enjoyed lifelong friendships. He was trained as an Artistic Book binder before bookbinding became automated. He went on to receive training as a nurse where he found his life long passion to serve others. For four years he served as a medic in a combat unit during World War II on the Russian Front.
While in a refugee camp he met Ilse Bruckner; the love of his life and future mother of his four children. They immigrated to the United States, and in 1957 moved the family to Minnesota. In 1969 they moved to Salt Lake City where he worked at the VA Medical Center. He retired in 1985 at the age of 72. In 2002, he lost his life time partner after 50 years of marriage and was deeply touched.
He found joy through his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. He never lost his gift to encourage and enjoy the company of others. He blessed the lives of everyone he met. He felt blessed for his long life "never worrying", putting himself in God's hands. He is survived by six children, Wolfgang, Gudrun Keil-Rock (Helmut), Antje Lund (David), Hans (Polly), Karl (Kathleen), and Ulrich (JoAnna), and many grandchildren and great grandchildren.
He will be deeply missed by all! Tis Feiramt!
Services will be at 11:00 a.m. on Sept. 19, 2011 at Good Shepherd Lutheran Church, 8600 S. 700 E.

Published in Salt Lake Tribune on September 16, 2011

This week

2011-09-15T11:07:00.000-06:00

It has been a busy week. Funny how life will be real quiet, nothing much going on, each day like the last, then BAM!everything happens all at once. There is an avalanche of events that take place and things don't seem to slow down or stop. It is one thing to the next thing to the next.

With Opa passing away on Tuesday life slowed down for a bit. I slowed down. We spent the day at home. I did a lot of thinking and remembering, as much as you can with a 2 year old and 5 month old. I looked through photo albums and talked to family. Sadness came and went. He was 98, so it was to the point that it was going to happen sometime soon. It wasn't too sudden or unexpected which makes it easier to deal with. He will be greatly missed but there is a relief that accompanies the sadness as well.

There wasn't much time to dwell on the fact that Opa was no longer with us because quickly thoughts turned to Colin who is HOME! Colin got home from his 2 year LDS mission in Ukraine last night. He is wonderful and it is so good to have him home. It is like a missing piece of me has been found. I love my family and it is nice to have us all back together again. He got in late last night so the kids were asleep but they met him this morning. Alice or course didn't stop smiling at him and Hobbes took to him right away. Feeling very excited and silly. Showing him toys and running around crazy. As I was going to bed last night after spending time with the family, Thane leaned over and whispered, cause Alice still sleeps in our room and we don't want to wake her, "Happy Birthday".

So today is my birthday. From one thing to the next. I am 28 today. This seems like a real big birthday for some reason. I mean it isn't like I am 30 yet. And I am not even close to 98. I know 30 isn't old, if you are 30 I don't think of you as old, but when I turn 30 I am going to feel old. I think cause 30 is bringing me a whole new realm of life. I will no longer be in my 20's and that seems sad to me. I have LOVED my 20's. I will take the next two years to mentally prepare myself for this new transition in life that will be coming.

On another note, as I turn 28 today, my cousin as his wife just brought a baby girl (Ivy) into the world. She is just starting out. The whole world is new to her. She has so much to learn and experience. I am happy to share this day with her and celebrate a new life just starting out int he world while remembering the life of my Opa.

This weekend family my dad's family will be arriving and we will hold a funeral on Monday. Then life will slow down again and get back to normal for a time before the Holiday season and a new bundle of joy arrive.

Meine Opa (Roland Matthes April 23, 1913 -September 13, 2011)

2011-09-13T14:48:00.001-06:00

Proud, kind, courageous, full of love, stubborn, hard working, persevering. My Opa passed away this morning at 4:30am in the Salt Lake Regional Hospital at age 98 after a heart attack. His story is one that will never cease to amaze me and strengthen who I am as a person and be proud of my lineage.

Opa was born in Annaberg, Germany. When he was a baby his mother passed away leaving him in the care of his father. Later in life his father remarried to a woman that my Opa always called his "wicked step mother". Just like in Cinderella. His step mother loathed him and did not want anything to do with him. She soon decided she had had enough of him and convinced his father to send him to the Orphanage. This is where my Opa spent his childhood, in an Orphanage. Lucky for him he loved his time in the Orphanage and looks back on it fondly. He came to consider the other children his siblings and the man that took care of him his father. He was treated kindly. He was loved. In turn he learned to love. I consider this pretty lucky. Although I can never understand giving up a child to an Orphanage when 100% capable of taking care them, I understand that it was probably best for my Opa to grow up in an environment happy and loved rather than mistreated.

Later in life my Opa was married and had 4 children to a woman whom I actually don't even know her name. This was his first marriage. This marriage he kept a secret until his children were all grown and had children of their own. I don't remember how old I was but remember when the news was broken and how it shocked the entire family. I am not sure why he chose to keep this secret, but once it was out we were able to grow very close to the 4 children from his 1st marriage whom were living in Germany.

Years after this he met my Oma. A wonderful woman who passed away 10 years ago earlier this month due to Colan Cancer. She was a loving, kind, patient, simple woman. They fell in love. World war two was beginning and my Opa was taking part in the war as a cook. Yes, he was a Nazi, what choice did he have? My Oma was enrolled in Hitler Youth Camps and they lived their young adult lives in war torn Germany serving a leader that neither one of them approved of. Later, my Opa and Oma decided to sneak out of East Germany and into the West. This was not easy or safe but they managed to make it to West Germany safely and there they began a family. My Oma gave birth to 4 children. Antje, Hans, Karl, Ulrich. When my Dad was just under 1 year old they decided to embark on a long journey and bring their family to America.

The trip took 2 months. They had four children under the age of 8. My Opa described having to sleep in the cabin, where all the men slept. The woman and children slept on deck. My Opa described the cabin as the worst conditions you can imagine. He said their was vomit and waste everywhere. The smell was unbearable. They were smashed so tightly together you could hardly move or breath. Then I can not imagine what it was like to take care of 4 children on a ship for 2 months. It makes me sea sick just thinking about it. They saw many pass away but by "God's will", my Opa's term, made it to New York. From here they left to Minnesota where my Opa was able to get a job lined up.

My Opa worked many many jobs. All of them low paying since he was a German Immigrant. He worked 90 hour weeks for low pay to put food on the table for his family, "back breaking work" as he describes it. I don't think I have ever known anyone as hard working as my Opa. When my Dad was about 14 years old they moved the family to Utah. I am not sure why, I am thinking it was due to work. Finally he was able to become a nurse for the VA Hospital and that is where he ended up working until he retired. While here in Utah living on Elgin Drive he enjoyed gardening and cooking. He made cheesecakes from home which a store here in Utah would buy from him and sell. He won awards for his cheesecake. He spent much time with his grandchildren, loving us more than I will ever really ever know. He was proud of his family.

His family had come to the States with nothing but the clothes on their back. He watched his children graduate high school, become employed, get married, and have children. He watched his grandchildren graduate college and get married. He then got to know a few great grandchildren and his face would light up when in their presence. He would become 20 years younger laughing along with them and watching them run and jump and smile. I am grateful to my Heavenly Father that Hobbes got to know his Great Opa and that Alice got to meet him. He was so happy when he heard that Alice carried the middle name Dora, the same middle name as my Oma, because he has always loved her with everything he has.

This man, my Opa, is someone we can all learn from. He went through things that I can not even imagine. Not only did he survive he blossomed. He grew in Faith with an unwavering love of God. Understanding more than many of us ever will, the blessings that God gives us here on this earth. He has gone on to another life to be reunited with a mother he never knew, a wife, and his Father in Heaven. He as been a faithful man. In a year from now we can take his name to the temple and he can choose to accept the work or not, he is stubborn but intelligent and his heart has always been in the right place and I know that he will come to learn the truth and eventually accept it with his own free will.

I will always be grateful for the example of my Opa. Proud, kind, courageous, full of love, stubborn, hard working, persevering.

I love you Opa, you will be greatly missed.

10 years

2011-09-09T15:54:00.004-06:00

September 8, 2001

Yesterday marked the anniversary of the first kiss shared between me and Thane.

That is correct. I know that date.

I don't have too many dates memorized but this one I do.

You see 10 years ago; by the way, I never imagined the first time I kissed Thane that we would be together, married, and have two children 10 years later, but anyway. 10 years ago I was turning 18. My friends and I decided to throw a huge party. Adrian had a pool at her house. We had friends in a band (System at the time, now with a few different members and called Fictionist) that we got to play. And then my cousin Dylan's band whom drove all the way down from Payson to come play. We sent out fliers to all of Adrian's neighbors informing them that we would be having a party with live music so they would be aware. We gave out fliers to all the people we knew telling about the party with instructions on how to get there. That is right. This is before you could just send out a text to everyone and they could gps it on their iphones. We hand drew our map and made copies at kinkos. The good old days.

We planned the party for the 8th of September even though my birthday wasn't until the 15th. But the following weekend I would be up in Logan spending time with my cousin Sariah and attending the Homecoming dance with one of her friends (Thane still gives me a hard time about this to this very day).

So I bought the fried chicken, others brought drinks, chips, dessert......and the party started. The party ended up being a hit with around 500 people showing up. That is right! We certainly knew how to throw a good party. I honestly don't remember much of it though. I spent most of my time talking to Thane. As depicted in the picture above which was actually taken on the exact date I am telling you about.

Thane showed up with his friends, they were some of the first to arrive, and he brought flowers. I didn't expect anything and was very surprised. His friends left before he did and so I was left to drive him home. He had an earlier curfew than I did and so I drove him home and sitting in front of his house in my maroon Mitsubishi Montero we had our first kiss. Two little seniors in high school.

After that I drove back to Adrian's to help clean up and tell of all the details of the kiss I had been waiting for. We probably screamed and maybe jumped up and down, the normal excitement gestures of high school girls. And then the night was done and I am sure I smiled all the way home.

And that started it all.

It is hard to believe. I never imagined I would marry my high school sweetheart but it is fun to share memories with each other from so long ago. I love being able to talk about people and events from our past and know what each other is talking about.

Happy first kiss anniversary (yesterday) to my favorite person ever.

Log Haven, Milcreek Canyon, UT

2011-09-08T14:06:00.000-06:00

Thanks Will & Amy for having a fabulous wedding at a fabulous location so we could enjoy the crisp evening air, great company, a good purpose, and yummy food.

sometimes...

2011-09-07T21:58:00.000-06:00

when it is 10pm and I have been trying to get Alice to sleep since 8:30pm because she is really tired and she falls to sleep a dozen different times and then jerks herself awake, I just want to cry along with her and make music together in our tired cries.

more conversations with Hobbes

2011-09-02T13:06:00.000-06:00

Hobbes: "what that Dada?"
Thane: "my shoulder"
Hobbes: "what that Dada?"
Thane: "my chest"
Hobbes: "what that Dada?"
Thane: "my six pack"
Hobbes:" you have a lot six pack"

HA! I love this boy.
And I love his father too!

conversations with Hobbes

2011-08-26T09:39:00.000-06:00

This morning I was climbing up on a table in our hallway in order to help me reach something out of the closet. Here is the conversation I had with Hobbes while on the table.

Hobbes" "Mom, be careful on the table"
Me: "Ok. I am being careful."
Hobbes: "Be careful mom, be careful on the table."
Me: "I am being careful, ok I am getting down now."
Hobbes: "Mom, thank you for getting down and for being careful."

I love my little Hobbes!

Into the Pool

2011-08-22T13:18:00.000-06:00

Saturday marked the first time ever that I began an exercise/diet regiment in order to loose weight. I do not say this to brag. I say it because this is going to take commitment; something I haven't needed a whole lot of in the past when it comes to eating and exercise. My eating habits are pretty good for the most part. We eat healthy in our home. Home cooked meals, not a lot of eating out. I have been trying my best to cut sweets out of my diet Monday-Thursday. It is my snacking that is not the best. I really have to snack in order to continue nursing, not feel hungry all the time, and not loose my milk. But my snacking choices need to be better. I sat down and talked with Thane about it last night. He is a nutrition guru right now so I came up with healthy options. Hard boiled eggs, beans, avocado, protein shakes....to name a few. Things that will fill me up and keep me full.

Add to my healthy eating and snacking a regular swimming routine and BAM it shouldn't take too long to shed the unwanted post baby weight. I really just want to be able to fit into my pants COMFORTABLY from last winter and not have to buy new ones. Oh and yeah, I also want to be healthy.

(It isn't all about looks and saving money)

So Saturday Mieken and I went swimming. It was fabulous. Swimming is really the only exercise that I love. The rest I do cause it is good for me, but swimming I love. We were a little slower this time around than the last time we swam with each other. Mieken being 5 months pregnant. Oh yeah, that is right. Mieken is pregnant. After about 2 years of trying they did it! Baby is due in December. A playmate for Alice, a little girl, it is going to be awesome! Anyway, back to us being slow.....Mieken being pregnant and me being out of shape having just had a baby 4 and 1/2 months ago we were not the fastest. But at least we were going faster than the old lady in the string bikini swimming laps in the lane next to ours! Cheers to that.

I am not sure why there were so many old women swimming laps in bikinis. Are there really that many older women that are worried about a tan line?

And so I begin to be healthier. I am going to increase my energy level, feel healthy and fit, and those pants are going to fit me by the time I really need them.

Wish me luck.

Follow the Leader

2011-08-16T12:07:00.000-06:00

Recently Alice & I have spent our mornings following Hobbes bike (& Hobbes)

around the neighborhood.

Great Granny Woolf

2011-08-12T13:51:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I headed South to Provo with the kiddos and my mom to visit my Granny. This woman is amazing! She is the definition of love and kindness. Back in the day before her Parkinson's set in she was the life of the party. She was the busy bee. Her goal was to make everyone feel loved and comfortable all the time, and she succeeded. It has been difficult to watch her grow old and deal with the ailments that come along with it. I miss the Granny that would wake us up at night because the irrigation had soaked the entire front lawn and she wanted us to go out and play in it with her despite the time. I miss the Granny that woke us up at 6am on Christmas morning stating that she had already been awake for a couple of hours and just couldn't wait anymore. I miss the Granny that created all sorts of fun games for us and was the first to get them started (Jonny Jonny Butcher Boy) . I miss that Granny that started water fights on hot summer nights. I miss the Granny floating by herself out in the lake smiling as she watched her grandchildren.

Old age is hard to watch. I am sure it will be even harder to experience. I love my Granny. She has an unwavering love for her husband, her family, and the gospel. She raised two severely handicapped sons that didn't live past the age of 21. She pretty much gave up a life while they were alive in order to stay home and take care of these boys. Later she served 4 missions with my Grandfather. One to Ireland, one to South Dakota (Indian Reservation), and two to Hawaii. She is the queen of serving others and putting others before herself. She is a wonderful example of having joy and loving life.

I am so glad that my children get to spend some time with her. That they get to sit on her lap, play on the same blue carpet I used to play on (that she doesn't want to change cause all the colors available now are too boring), and run through the same yard where my imagination grew and grew.

I love my Granny Woolf.

Great Granny and Alice getting to know each other.

When you have as much yard as she does a riding lawn mower is required and Hobbes couldn't have been happier than when he found it.

This is the truck my mom learned to drive in. It is pretty much the most awesome truck ever.

Hobbes loved driving it.

Steering wheel as big as him.

This is a champion rocking horse.

Been around for 50 years and still working.

The Blue Carpet

Love this woman!

Alice, Granny, Great Granny.....just I am missing... no one to take our picture.

The kiddos and Great Granny Woolf.

Splash Pad

2011-08-10T13:40:00.000-06:00

Today we went out to Foxboro. This is where one of my close friends has recently moved. Driving out to Foxboro to find the playground we would be playing at I was keeping my eyes open for 1100 North. So I am driving following redwood road and turn on 1100 North. And just liked promised I follow the road and am at a park. However it doesn't seem right and turns out it is not the right park and I found the right park after driving another 5 minutes and turning on a different 1100 North. But who would have thought there would be two 1100 Norths right by each other and both ending at a park? Anyway....

We spent the morning in her hood and on her new turf playing in the Splash Pad. Have you ever heard of these? They are a bunch of little fountains in a big open area that kids can just run around in and play. So the closest we come to this in downtown is the Gateway Fountains. But they can be a little intense for smaller children at times. This was perfect! Hobbes loved it. And for a little boy who cries whenever we mention him having to take a shower, he LOVED the showers at the splash pad, they were his favorite with their slightly warmer water. It was a great morning. As we were driving home Hobbes said "Mom, I had fun." There you have it. Thanks Deb!

( I would have got pictures of others besides just Hobbes but they were yet to arrive or playing on the playground when I had my camera out, oh well.)

A comparison

2011-08-09T12:54:00.000-06:00

I haven't done a comparison yet. So here it goes:

These siblings really don't look much alike.

5 years

2011-08-08T12:36:00.000-06:00

5 years ago today Thane and I were married.

(In fact we were probably walking out the temple, just like the above picture, at this very time)

It was a beautifully hot August day and everything went wonderfully.

I am so blessed to be married to such a wonderful man.

(And despite what he says, my best friend)

This month is also our 10 year mark of dating one another.

That is correct.

We have been a couple for 10 years.

Boy how things have changed.

I am lucky to have such a wonderful life & such a wonderful husband to share it with.

Happy Anniversary Thane, I love you!

Details of a Home

2011-08-04T13:26:00.000-06:00

I love my home. I love everything about it. I love the location. I love light that floods in. I love the spaciousness. I love the people who reside within. I love it. It is Home.

It has taken me 5 years so far to get my home the way I like it. (It is a constant work in progress and I am still working). I do love it every stage it has been in. Going from being just the 2 of us to now 4 of us has brought a lot of changes in our home. All taking place in the same home. We haven't moved once. I have loved watching our house evolve into a home and have loved that just when I think it is perfect an idea comes to me that will make it even more perfect.

I think that Thane thinks I am crazy sometimes because of how often I am moving and rearranging furniture but it keeps things interesting, and something better always turns out.

I am on the constant lookout for things that will provide detail to our home. Details is what makes our home interesting, stand out from other homes, and the details are what makes it our own. It has taken me 5 years of collecting to find furniture and accents for our home. There is no way we have had the money to furnish our home all at once, but even if we did, there is no way I would be able to find everything I like to furnish our home all at once anyway. There is a story to everything is our home. I can name the price of the deal I purchases our dining room table for ($7), I can tell you how many coats of paint it took to cover up the black on the dresser that is now the changing table, I can tell you about the trip to Colorado where I purchased my mirrors, I can tell you about the Utah Art Festival where Thane and I bought our first piece of art together, I can tell you about the cactus that a best friend gave to me when I was 8 that is now 10 time the size, I can tell you about the process of making the coffee table, I can tell you about a mother who reupholstered my couch cushions, I can tell you about picking out the fabric and sewing my curtains, and creating my own pottery in a wheel thrown class.

I think you get the picture.

I can look at a magazine and pick out things that cost a fortune that I would love to have. There is a bed in the Sundance Catalog that will one day me mine.

However, the stories that come with the details of my house make it so meaningful, they make it a home. And they don't cost $1000 a pop either.

I love my home. I love the details of it. (Is it bad that I am so attached to temporal things?) I can't wait to see how it continues to progress. I will be very sad one day when our little family doesn't fit here anymore. But hopefully we will be able to find another home we love and watch it progress in its own way throughout the years. Until that times comes I will continue to change the home I love.

4 months

2011-08-03T15:41:00.000-06:00

At 4 months old this little girl is laughing, chatting away, squealing, smiling, rolling over, is fascinated with her brother and her own reflection, and chewing on EVERYTHING that can get to her mouth.

We love her so much!

Campbell Family Vacation 2011

2011-08-03T12:58:00.000-06:00

We spent a week up in Park City with the Campbell Crew. It was great! When there are 28 of us it is impossible to be able to stay in the same place. So some of us stayed in Condo's in Park City and the rest of us stayed 20 minutes away in the Cabin in Midway. We were part of the Midway crew. We enjoyed some hiking, playing on the playground, relaxing, golfing, bowling, swimming, pedicures.....and much more. It was fun and exhausting.

Little Catherine "Cathy" is Hobbes cousin that lives out of state. We don't get to see her a whole lot and were excited for Hobbes to get to spend more time with her. They became buddies; as buddy as toddlers can be. Catherine is shy of adult males and usually pretty scared of them, besides her Dad. However, she warmed up to Thane quickly and would run over to him with arms outstretched for him to pick her up. It was very cute. It also provided one more thing for Thane to rub in the face of his siblings. They really are a competitive group.

Hobbes wouldn't stop talking about riding the "tiny jeep" and it was the first thing he asked to do every morning and was usually the last thing he was begging to do as we put him to bed. Who knew that a small ATV could end up being such an amazing babysitter! (I know, I am an awful parent for even thinking that, but just stating it how it is) Thane ended up pushing him and Catherine around on it quite often. It was a great time. And although I had my camera, not many pictures were taken. It is amazing how it becomes so difficult to take pictures when you have a toddler and a newborn.

We had a great time in the cool mountain air but are happy to be home to our daily routine. The kids are finally rested and feeling like themselves again. As for me....a couple more days and I should be over the exhaustion. I am taking a week to recover from the vacation.

Swimming in the Rain

2011-08-01T12:58:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago we got together with many of Hobbes cousins and went swimming at Thane's Grandma's Condo. As soon as we got there the sky began to get dark, we could hear thunder in the far off distance and then the rain came and it POURED. This didn't stop any of the fun, except that Alice didn't much want to stay in the rain so we got out and sat happily under our umbrella and I actually had a minute to take pictures.

As soon as we had to get out the sun began to shine and the rain stopped. So Hobbes and Jane enjoyed playing in the left over rain storm puddles.

Catch Up

2011-07-31T22:19:00.000-06:00

So we just got back from a little family vacation at the cabin. (more to come on that)

I am going to be playing a little catch up, but for now can I just say...

I HEART MY FAMILY!

Hobbes: "need umbrella in case it rains"

(the rain falling on us has been just lovely)

Hope you are having a wonderful summer.

July 17, 2011

2011-07-18T17:24:00.000-06:00

The date we decided to bless Alice Dora Campbell. There were a few weeks prior that we thought we would do it and we just couldn't get all the family there. So finally the 17th ended up being the day. At 3 1/2 months old we blessed our little girl.

Thane is so close to our Father in Heaven. He utilizes his Priesthood power to the full capacity and Heavenly Father truly speaks through him. Today's blessing was proof to me that our Heavenly Father loves us and is a constant part of our lives. He is a part of every detail of our lives and cares about us whether we are 98 or 3 1/2 months old.

There was also a mission homecoming today so it was packed. As the meeting began people all of a sudden stood up and there was President Tomas S. Monson walking into the chapel and up onto the stage with a beautiful smile on his face as always. Hobbes looks at me and says "It's the Prophet". How amazing for him to get to experience being in the same room as the Prophet.

He was at our ward, to support the newly returned missionary. Many of our close family and friends were at our ward to support us for Alice's blessing and how amazing it was to be with all of them as the Prophet of God entered the chapel. The spirit was was there, no question about that.

Now the pressure was on for Thane (just kidding). He gave the most wonderful blessing I have ever heard. I remember being amazed at the blessing he gave for Hobbes as well, but there is just a connection with Alice and Thane that is very special. She really loves her Dad, it is very sweet. A couple of friends that were in the circle mentioned to Thane how she just looked at him the whole time he was talking, when he would pause she would look away, then when he would start talking again he would look back at her. She wanted to hear what he had to say I guess and really focus on it. A few things she was blessed with:

Physical and emotional growth and health
To emulate the Love shown by her great grandmother (my Oma) whom she is named after (middle name)
To make the choice to be baptised and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost
Learn to tune her ears to the promptings of the spirit
To be chaste and pure and focus on going to the temple
To choose good friends. And also that her friends will look up to her and she needs to be a "light unto them"
Recognize her Divine Heritage as a Daughter of God
That she will have many hardships and trials in her life. But to know that she is loved by all her family and her Heavenly Father and that she is not alone because the Savior knows personally what she is going through
That she will be an example to Hobbes and other siblings to come
That she will be blessed to have a testimony of all latter day Prophets
That she will have a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ

He spoke so immaculately. When the blessing ended there wasn't a dry eye in the circle. There is just something about seeing a circle of grown men be touched by the spirit in the way they were. It makes you realize what good men there are in the world. It makes you realize that the gospel helps to form good men that love and care for and serve others besides themselves.

Then James (Thane's little brother on piano) and Meredith (Thane's mom on violin) played A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief. It was beautiful.

President Monson spoke at the end of the meeting. As always he was humorous and kind. He has a sparkle in his eye and looking at him I feel as though I could be looking at the Savior. His pure love for everyone is undeniable. He spoke words of encouragement and made us all laugh and feel more loved than when we came in the chapel. (Which with all the family and friends that came to support us, I didn't realize was possible).

At the end of the meeting we all stood to let him leave. He came down ( we always sit on the second row) he shook all the people sitting on the first and second rows hands. This included our little family of 4. Although he gave Hobbes a high five and called him "tiger" which fits him perfectly. I cried as I watched him interact with my husband and children. A prophet of God with a busy schedule taking time to high five my 2 year old son and shake my hand. It is an experience to remember. I feel blessed.

A happy family.

A happy girl.

Cousins. Already giggling together.

Alice and her cousin are only 3 weeks apart and it turns out both blessing dresses were hand made out of the same fabric.

They are going to be best friends.

Dear Alice,

2011-07-12T13:51:00.000-06:00

You are such a unique girl. So different from your brother. With your own personality and qualities that I love. Your smiles melt my heart and lucky for me you smile all day long. Your Grandma tells everyone you meet "if you just look her in the eye she will smile at you" and you always do. You have started laughing. A belting laugh that makes the whole house stop and listen to you with smiles on their faces. You bring joy and happiness into our home.

It is true what people say, that you feel differently about your little boys than your little girls. I always thought I wouldn't notice a difference. You are both my children and I love you equally and why would gender even come into play? But it does. I have feelings of protection for you that are different from those I have for Hobbes. It is hard to explain. I want you and Hobbes to learn and grow and experience life to the fullest. I don't want anything to hold you back If Hobbes wants to play with a doll and wear pink that is great. If you want to push around trucks and get muddy perfect. But there are differences in the ways I want to protect you. I feel that the world is harder on you as a girl. I feel that you NEED to be aware at a young age of your infinite worth. ( I want Hobbes to be aware of his worth as well, but this letter is to you). "Long before the time we can remember, our Father held you in his arms so tender, those loving arms released you as He sent you down to earth, He said "my child I love you don't forget your great worth.""

The world is hard on girls. The world tells you that you need to be skinny and sexy and ditsy. The world tells you to hide your intelligence and to be ashamed of wanting to put your selfish ideals aside and aspire to be a mother. The world tells you it is ok to have lots of sexual partners; that sex isn't something special and the world tells you to use your body to get what you want. The world teaches you to be selfish. This selfishness does not bring happiness.

You are such a happy baby, you will be a happy little girl, and I am sure you will be a teenager that brings happiness to your friends and family. I just want you to always remember that you are loved. That you are intelligent. That you are beautiful. That you are talented. That you don't have to conform to the worlds standard to show what you are worth. You are priceless.

There are tough times ahead and the thought of you going through the trials of life almost makes me sick to my stomach. But at the same time I know you will learn and grow and become wise from your experiences and trials and I will always, always be here for you with understanding and love.

Love, Mom

Thoughts

2011-07-08T12:37:00.000-06:00

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

Alexander Graham Bell

Today I have been regretting. I have been regretting all morning. I have cried. I have been mad at myself and another. I have felt sorry for myself.

In doing all this....I have missed out on really playing all morning with my son while my daughter slept away. I have missed out on playing in the nice overcast weather outside. I have missed out.

Does that mean I will stop regretting? Probably not, but I won't let it consume me anymore. (or at least hope that it won't)

Happy 4th of July!

2011-07-05T14:12:00.000-06:00

The 4th of July was fun and mellow this year.

It started with a yummy neighborhood pancake breakfast (not bright and early; we didn't get there until 9:30am because we all slept in).

With full bellies we began walking home.

We stopped to throw rocks.

We stopped to watch the garbage truck.

Then we made it home, just in time to hear a man across the street yelling for help.

He had a full cast on his leg and no crutches.

Thane went over to help and before we new it here came an ambulance and a firetruck.

I don't think that Hobbes could have been happier, despite the ailing man.

My dad took him across the street to get a closer look and the next think I know......he is sitting in the firetruck driving it (or at least pretending to).

I ran over to watch and this little boy was in pure heaven.

The fireman told him he could not push any buttons and so he didn't and told me the rest of the day how he did not push any of the buttons and how he also gave the firemen fist bumps.

Boy, his day was made.

Thank you Firemen!

The day continued with naps and then a nice evening with Thane's family:

Happy Independence Day!

A soak in the hot tub with cousins....

jumping.....

jumping....

frisbee....

wrestling with James (welcome home from your mission for 1 week today)....

and all that play = all tuckered out.

4th of July on the 2nd of July?

2011-07-04T16:49:00.000-06:00

Spring Lake (with 4 new additions to the family; 3 babies and a wedding)
Grannies House for a yummy potluck dinner (with 5 additions to the family; 4 babies and a wedding)
Grannies front lawn for fireworks (which we missed due to leaving early because of crying children that had no naps and were not being easily consoled; life with children)
Here is to a great 4th of July on the 2nd.

(Thane & Hobbes paddling away)

(Odis & Alice, only two weeks difference in age)

(Mom & Alice soaking up the sun)

(Swimming & floating fun)

(Nothing like floating time with Hobbes)

(Who are those two crazy bearded men? Just a brother and a cousin that is who)

As of late...

2011-07-01T13:14:00.000-06:00

Summer is in full swing and we have really been enjoying it. It has been fun even though a baby makes it a little harder to do everything that we want to. I keep thinking of how much fun next summer will be with a 1 year old and a 3 year old. It is going to be wonderful (as long as I am not sick from being pregnant like last summer). A baby really takes a lot our of you. They are just a lot of work.

In fact, Thane and I both recently decided that we are not going to make the 10 hour trek to New Mexico with my family next week. I was so looking forward to it and then slowly started getting more and more and more stressed as I thought of a 10 hour car ride with a 3 year old and a two year old. Today while in the car, coming home from Costco, Alice was crying, of course she does not like being in the car seat, and Hobbes was getting frustrated. Finally I just think he couldn't take the crying anymore and all of a sudden he yells. "Alice, stop crying!" Needless to say I am glad I am not going to be in the car with those two for 10 hours.

We have had a fun summer so far though. We have had a good amount of swimming (I really need to get pictures of this but it is usually too chaotic for me to take time to bring out the camera), we have been to the park, to Red Butte, played outside, and just really have taken it nice and easy.

Both kids are getting so big.
At Hobbes 2 year Doctor Appointment and Alice's 2 month:

Hobbes weighed in at just under 26 pounds and was 35 1/2 inches tall.
Hobbes continues to love trucks more and more and his imagination is starting to run wild. He will line up all his trucks laughing and talking as he does so. When at home he keeps himself very entertained. He still takes 2 hour naps. A huge blessing. He sleeps about 10 hours a night which is wonderful. He talks non stop all day long. He has so much to say. He is willing to try a lot of new foods but is still very picky and doesn't like most of them. His favorite thing to do is run. He just wants to run and wants everyone to run with him. I wish I had the energy to run all day long with him, I would be in the best shape ever. This is probably why he is only in the 15th percentile for weight. He loves to laugh and make people laugh. Loves "Bob the Builder". He loves Alice to pieces and will talk and share his toys with her. He loves to jump on the bed. He currently will run and sit on his toilette when he has to use the bathroom but won't let you take his diaper off, so we are getting closer to potty training, just not their yet, and it is something I don't want to push to hard cause it will be easier for the both of us when he is truly ready.

Alice was 12 lbs and just under 25 inches.
Alice is a joy. She is such a happy content baby. I can't get over it. I guess I didn't really realize how hard Hobbes was until having Alice. She is a breeze. She smiles and anyone she makes eye contact with. She is smiling all day long. She is starting to laugh. Just like Hobbes, she laughs the most when tired. Thane had her laughing so hard in Sacrament Meeting the other week, it was so cute! He LOVES being on her stomach and so that is how she sleeps, waking up only once a night. Last night she slept all the way through the night. She is lifting her head up all the way when on her stomach and will take a pacifier. How wonderful! She is not too fond of being the stroller when awake (Hobbes could be in the stroller for hours and be content). She loves to talk. I have two talker children and know that when she is really talking I will never get a word in.

I love my children.

Enjoy our lazy summer.

shhh.

2011-06-21T22:29:00.000-06:00

It is 10:00pm and quiet. There is no baby, toddler, or husband chattering away. The cat is not meowing as he insistently does throughout the entirety of the day. The television is off. No music in the background. The dishwasher has stopped and the swamp cooler has been turned off. There is the steady pace of cars coming in through the open window and a distant clanking accompanied by the hum of the computer and the tip tap of typing, that is all.

When I was a teenager sounds filled my life. Music was playing, people were chatting, laughing, crying, explaining, yelling (there wasn't a whole lot of listening as I remember it). Movies were playing. Every inch of my life was filled with sounds. Hundreds of teenagers passing each other in the hallways. A car packed tight with the music blaring as we all sang along. Concerts where ear plugs should have been worn. Sporting events filled with yelling fans. Dances with blasting music. Shrieking girls and yelling boys. I feel this phase lasted into college. I am not sure when silence began to slip into my life and feel wonderful. Not sure when the sound of nothing began to sound so good.

I took a class in graduate school where we learned to tune into the silence. It was a method that was proven to work particularly well with Veterans of War. We were taught to stop talking and focus on the sound of the fan. To turn off the music and focus on the humming of the engine. To turn off the noise in our life and focus on ourselves. Our well being. To meditate. To listen. To let go. To delve inside our beings.

As a mother I have come to greatly appreciate silence. When the kids are napping and Thane is as work I don't put on my headphones to clean the house. I don't turn on music to check my e-mail. I rarely turn on the television. Instead I embrace the quiet, the calm. My whole body relaxes and begins to unwind....gearing itself up for the next hours of noise. If someone decides to mow their lawn while my kids nap I become upset. Silly I know, but it is my time. I want peace. I want quiet. I want nothingness.

When did we as human beings become so obsessed with noise? When did silence become boring? Where did the quiet go? Why do we have to fill our homes with white noise machines in order to sleep?

I do love noise. There is nothing like a favorite song to put me in a good mood. There is nothing like the laugh of my son and coo of my baby girl. There is so much happiness in the long conversations I have with Thane late at night before going to bed. There is something so relaxing about being curled up on the couch watching a great movie. But when it is all turned off....that is when I notice me. And you know what? I like me.

A wonderful weekend in pictures

2011-06-19T22:39:00.000-06:00

I love summer...and so far the weather has been beautiful, not too hot and not too cold....just right.

We were indeed lucky to get to spend a fabulous weekend up at the cabin in beautiful Midway. Nothing better than a quick getaway to refresh everything about me. The weather was nothing less than perfect, Hobbes was able to spend much time running, jumping, and exploring the great outdoors. He also loved riding (aka: sitting on) the "mini jeep".

It was glorious.

Dad, Dada, Daddy

2011-06-19T22:21:00.000-06:00

Happy Father's Day to the man of my dreams.

Follow up

2011-06-16T14:09:00.000-06:00

So, I went to the Doctor yesterday and it went great!

I have a tendency of building up the worst scenario of things in my head and then when they take place they are never quite as bad as I imagine they will be. Does this make me a pessimist?

Anyway, we got to the Doctor's office right on time. I think we were a minute early, just enough time to check in. After checking in we only waited 1 minute before they called us back . I think this is a waiting room miracle. Once in the room the Doctor was ready before I even had the two kids undressed and weighed. Another miracle. I think that all my continuous praying was paying off.

Our Doctor made Hobbes feel so comfortable and by the end of the appointment they were best friends, Hobbes didn't want him to leave, another miracle. Alice did amazingly well. Just as she really started to get hungry the Doctor was done and we were left waiting for the nurse for the dreaded shots. During this time I was able to feed Alice really quick which was great cause once we got in the car to leave she was nice and full and ready to sleep.

The shots didn't go to badly either. Alice was happy to just lay down and chew on her hand while I held Hobbes for his last and final vaccination shot before starting school. HOORAY! He does remarkably well with shots. The initial prick makes him cry and he looks at me like "why do you let this happen to me" and it breaks my heart and then I hand him a lollipop and he stops crying and is happy again. Broken heart mended with a lollipop.

Alice had to get three shots plus the oral vaccination so her story was a little different. She complained while having to drink the yucky vaccination and then really let me hear it once she was given the shots. The poor girl was sore the rest of the day, but is doing much better today. And it didn't take her long to calm down once the shots were over.

My kids are the greatest. I am so lucky to have such easy happy children. I am lucky to have an amazing Doctor and feel lucky to be able to prevent life threatening diseases through a little shot in the leg. Thank you modern medicine.

Needless to say I was tuckered out the rest of the day due to my worry. Maybe next time I will try and relax a little more and see how that goes for me.

summer as a blonde

2011-06-15T13:50:00.000-06:00

Ok.

So now I am blonde.

Do blonde's really have more fun?

I am yet to find out. I have only been blonde a couple of days.

Not the platinum Gwen Stefani I was originally going for, but blonde none the less and it is different.

A shock each time I look in the mirror or see my reflection in a window.

I decided to not completely damage my hair with the bleach blonde look and to leave a little room for roots to grow in without hating the look of my dark roots so much that it makes me want to shave my head every time I look in the mirror.

So the blending of blonde with my natural color was Sariah's (the best hair dresser in the world who also happens to be my cousin) idea.

It was of course a good idea.

So now I am ready for summer.

YESTERDAY:

Went swimming with the kids & friends.

Completed jump roping work out.

Worked up a great sweat.

Hung the cloth diapers on the line in the sun to dry.

I think I got my hair done for summer just in time, cause it feels as though it is here to stay.

In other news:

Today is my first time taking both the kids in for a Doctor's Appointment at the same time and all by myself. It is Hobbes 2 year old check up ( a little late) and Alice's 2 month old check up ( a little late). I am totally freaked out about this. I don't know why I am so nervous. I hate taking the kids to the Doctor's and with all the ear infections Hobbes has had in the past, we are not a stranger to visiting with our Doctor and receiving lots of mean shots. So needless to say, Hobbes is not fond of going to see the Doctor. Today he gets a vaccination shot and I know he is going to need to be held while at the same time I imagine Alice crying of hunger because we had to wait 40 minutes before even getting to see the Doctor.......I see this all going on in my mind and pretty much just stress out.

What I am hoping is that we won't have to wait more than 20 minutes to see the Doctor. That Alice will sleep up until the point that I have to get her undressed to weigh her and that Hobbes will be able to stay happy eating his fruit snacks I am packing and playing with his cars. ( I may even pack some back up starburst candies just in case).

Wish me luck. I really do need it.

Faces

2011-06-09T14:10:00.000-06:00

Hobbes, make a funny face...

Alice, smile & look cute...

We are enjoying the start of our semi-lazy summer. We have a couple of vacations planned and fun weekly play dates with friends. Other than that we just are doing what we want when we want and it is fantastic. I have been getting into summer, chase the toddler around, shape and feel so good. Jump roping totally kicked my butt today. Being sweaty has never felt so good. In fact, maybe I should take a shower. Hello summer weather. Thank you for finally getting here, but not heating up too much too fast. I appreciate it.

Uncle Rudi and his present

2011-06-07T14:22:00.000-06:00

(Rudi and Hobbes October 2009)

My brother Rudi has been traveling in Thailand for the last 3 weeks (lucky duck). He served an LDS mission there and decided to go back, this time as a tourist, to see all the sites he never got to see while on his mission.

Hobbes has really missed him since he has been gone and is always stating, at least once daily, that

"Rudi in Thailand".

So when he mentioned that Rudi was in Thailand earlier today I told him that Rudi would be home tomorrow.

Hobbes: "Rudi come home Thailand."

Me: "He comes home tomorrow."

Hobbes: "And bring Hobbes present."

Me: "Who told you that?"

Hobbes: "Rudi."

So there you have it.

I guess Rudi is bringing Hobbes a present.

Or at least Hobbes thinks he is.

I think having Uncle Rudi home will be a good enough present in itself.

motivation?

2011-06-03T14:30:00.000-06:00

After last nights...

no husband at home, baby girl crying for two hours, toddler boy not wanting to go to bed and making it very difficult, me getting frustrated overwhelmed and then mad. Yelling. A loudly shut door. Now three people all in the same house in tears. Guilt. More crying. Good night hugs, sleeping kids, silence.

I decided I needed to start exercising again. I needed an outlet for me to get it all out.

So today I dusted off the cardio pilates and began. I worked up a sweat and boy did it feel good. With summer coming I would like to get my flat stomach back for t-shirt weather and would like to fit into my shorts so I don't need to buy new, bigger size ones.

Raise a glass of nice cool (after exercise) water to motivation.

Our life

2011-06-02T13:07:00.000-06:00

I know. I have been MIA as of late. Really, you don't need to tell me. The last couple of weeks of May were a whirlwind. I can't believe it is June. And I can't believe it is still cold. We are not happy about this. So this post is without pictures. Poor Alice, she will have so many less pictures of her than Hobbes. There is just always something else to be doing rather than taking a picture. I need to get better at taking some pictures to document this little girls existence. Oh well.

Life.

It has been good. Each day we pray for a warm non windy day, you would think we live in Chicago with all the windy days we have been having. Alice, being a newborn, doesn't do well with wind, it makes it so she can't breath, so she is unhappy outside on windy days, which has been everyday since she has been born. Or so it feels.

Speaking of Chicago, or I guess just other places than Utah. Thane and I just came up with our list of schools we are applying to for our 3rd year now. 3rd times the charm. We got great feedback on how to spruce up his applications this year from a med school advisor and are well on our way to being accepted to Medical School this year. At least that is how I feel. We are applying to 15 schools, I am not going to post the list. I think it is bad luck and really we just want to get into the U anyway. But will be happy to move if he gets accepted elsewhere. Truthfully I think we are at a better time in our lives to start up Medical School. It was nice and much needed to have some normal time (schedule wise) as a family before a crazy medical school schedule begins. So here we go again. Wish us luck this time.

I am gradually adjusting to being a mother of two. I feel I am grumpier. Does that happen when a second child pops out? I am just so tired at the end of the day. Hobbes has figured out what buttons he can push to get a reaction out of me and enjoys doing so. He will run away, just far enough away that I don't want to go get him, and then he will ignore me when I call him to come back. He thinks it is hilarious to kick his blanket off after I have put it on him for bedtime and then complain until I come put it back on, and then repeat this over and over. Overall he is a great kid. Funny, cute as can be, helpful....there are just those few small things that cause me to want to run away before I explode. Alice is the easiest baby I could have asked for. She sleeps well. She falls to sleep all on her own with me just setting her down when she is tired. I feel as if this is a miracle. She eats well. She is smiling all the time. It is great. But just having two children with diapers to change, with mouths to feed, with attention to be given is exhausting. No matter how good of kids they are.

Lately I have been contemplating how lucky and unlucky mothers are.

This is what I mean by unlucky. First, you have to be pregnant for 9 months before you get the child. I really dislike pregnancy. I feel lucky to be able to be pregnant and am grateful, but do not enjoy it. Then after the 9 months you get to go through labor. Quite an experience, but not fun in anyway, shape, or form. Then you get to breastfeed which means a lot of sitting with a child glued to you. Again, something I am grateful to be able to do, just do not really enjoy it until I am able to do less of it. Because of being pregnant, giving birth, and breastfeeding, your body is now something you totally do not recognize and are not sure how to go about using again. And time to get it as close as back to normal as you are able is scarce and usually taking away from time to sleep. So you have to decide....sleep or exercise? Dishes or sleep? Blogging or exercise? Shower or sleep?

The lucky (for me): I get to spend each day at home with my children. I get to watch them learn and grow and experience life. I don't miss a thing. I love to watch them explore and figure the world out. And this I wouldn't give up for the world. I get to have a little person tell me daily that they love me, give me hugs, and hold my finger. I get to pick up a baby and have her stop crying because all she wanted was to hold me. Lucky for me I still get to take naps. I get to spend my days outside. Always something I wished I could do while working. I get to read lots of children's stories. I get to jump on the bed, go to the zoo, run in the sprinklers......I get to be a child all over again and not feel strange because I have a child to do all these things with. I get to be a mom.

So the lucky by far outweighs the unlucky (on most days, I am just being honest). I just will be interested to find out what all the unlucky was about in my next life. And why does all the unlucky fall on the shoulders of the mom? Hmmmmmmm.....

So Hobbes, Alice, and I have been spending as much time as possible out of doors. We have gone to the parks, fed the ducks, played at Red Butte, gone on walks. It has been fun. Pictures will come again one day. Until then you can imagine us basking in all the glory of a home with toys strewn across the floor, laundry piled in baskets, spit up all over because we are currently too busy running around like crazy while the sun shines briefly, laughing up a storm. We are lucky...and the unlucky, well in retrospect, its all a piece of cake to deal with. The lucky, that is what really matters.

***

2011-05-18T20:21:00.002-06:00

me: "good-night Hobbes"
Hobbes: "good-night mommy"
me: "I love you"
Hobbes:"I love you too so much"

*Nothing gets better than this*

Mother of Two

2011-05-17T12:39:00.000-06:00

Probably the #1 question I get is "how are you surviving with two?" Fair question. I thought all hell would break lose as soon as Alice popped out. I thought life would be total chaos every day of my life. I thought I would never get to eat, sit, sleep, shower...I currently have not showered, but I do get the chance.

I thought I would never be able to leave the house and that I would be crying often.

Having Hobbes was hard. I cried a lot, I hardly showered, I never left the house. It (he) was a big adjustment. At my 6 weeks postpartum appointment yesterday my midwife asked how I was doing. She then went on to explain that what she has seen in her patients is either child #1 is a HUGE life changing adjustment or child #2 is the big huge adjustment. I think it must have been #1 for me.

Having #2 has been easier for me. I can deal with everything much better and life is NOT at a complete stand still. It only took Hobbes 1 weeks to adjust to having a sister and he adores her. I don't think he can even remember life without her. (which is a benefit of having your kids close in age)

I must admit that having my parents right below me is a HUGE help. There are days that I might have ended up crying if not for the fact that I could take Hobbes down to play with my Dad, but all in all, life is good, I love being a mother of two and I don't feel as though Hobbes is totally neglected. Of course he doesn't get the attention he used to, but Alice will never get the attention that Hobbes used to get, so life just isn't perfect, but it works, it works well.

We are surviving and are happy doing it.

Purple

2011-05-13T14:09:00.003-06:00

In our house we LOVE purple!

But we do not love when mom stops playing to take a picture.

Mothers

2011-05-09T14:07:00.001-06:00

(mother, daughter, granddaughter)

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world.

It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and

crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."

Agatha Christie, "The Last Seance"

Happy Birthday Hobbes!

2011-05-07T10:23:00.002-06:00

Happy Birthday to the sweetest boy in the world/universe.

Dear Hobbes-

Today you are two years old. So smart. So funny. You love everything about you and you should because there is really nothing not to love. I love you more and more daily with every little thing you do. I love the little boy you are. You are very special to me. I love your sister Alice as well but for each of you there is a special love that is different from one another, just as you are different. I am going to share with you some things you are currently doing and saying so I will never forget.

You love knowing your letters, numbers, and colors and always point out the colors of everything and point out every letter and number you know.

"H for Hobbes"
"P for Papa"
"D for Daddy"
"M for Mama"
"R for Rudi"
"O for Opa"
"E for Elmo"
-This is what you say every time you see ant of these letters anywhere, whether in a book, the newspaper, on a cereal box, or billboard.

You NEED everything right now. At church on Sunday:

Mom: "Hobbes, I need you to be quiet."
Hobbes: "No, Hobbes NEED be loud."

Mom: "Hobbes I need the pump (breast pump)."
Hobbes: "No I NEED that."

You love to boss people around (watch out Alice).

"Mobster (the cat), Mobster, Mobster STOP MEOWING!" as you chase him down the hall
"Mobster get out crib, not your crib, Hobbes crib" then you shake the crib to get him out.

You like mom to sing you songs at bedtime, not dad.
"Dad go hallway, Mama stay Hobbes."

You love the song "Will Bring the World his Truth (Army of Helaman). We sing it each nap time and bedtime and throughout the day, Nothing brings loving tears to my eyes quicker than your sweet voice singing along with me to this beautiful song. I love you.

At nap time you like to play in your crib for awhile before falling asleep, you still love monkey and talk to him like crazy, telling him all about your day. One day in particular you kept talking and talking and talking and playing and it took you an hour and a half of talking and playing before you fell to sleep. The next day when I was about to leave the room I told you it wasn't play time and jumping time but nap time. You looked at me and said "Mom go hallway, Hobbes jump." I laughed and left the room and you jumped then went to sleep.

Recently your Dad will say to you "Hobbes, I want some Suga'". In response you say "Hobbes want suga' too."

peanut butter sandwich = "peanut sutter banwich"

The other day your dad was trying to get me to do a math problem and I said " I don't want to do math right now." You ran into the room saying " I don't want to do math". You are a parrot, we watch what we say at our house because it will be repeated 99% of the time.

Papa and Granny have a gumball machine they fill with (most recently) boston baked beans. You love putting the penny in and getting the "boss beans". Every time you see a penny you say "Hobbes get penny, go Papa's, get boss bean."

The other day I was hanging things on your walls and stubbed my toe on a cork board. I said " ouchy mama!" You thought it was so funny laughing and saying "Mom kick cork board, say ouchy mama." Then ran over to it, kicked it and said "ouchy Hobbes."

You love Alice, so much and are so sweet with her, it brings tears to my eyes.

The other day Dad and I were bathing Alice, you loved watching but wanted to help. So we gave you a wash cloth and you washed her head and tummy so gently.

The other day I was getting dressed and had laid Alice on the floor in the living room, I asked you to talk to her to keep her happy. I looked into the living room from the hall and you were telling her about Elmo being on TV and movies being on TV. You would look right at her, talk to her, rub her tummy gently and then point to the TV. This tender moment will stay in my memory always. You are an amazing big brother.

You love:

basketball, soccer, golf
backhoes & dump trucks
reading books; you have so many memorized and want to "read" them by yourself
art; coloring, painting, chalk
monkey
Papa, Granny, Opa, Grandma (Papa and you have a very special relationship. You love him very tenderly.)
helping to do the dishes
eating cat food; Dad doesn't want you to eat it so when you want to eat it and Dad is in the kitchen you tell him "dad go hallway, Hobbes eat cat food". You are very honest about everything you do,
to make people laugh always saying " Hobbes be funny."

I love you so much. I have loved being your mother these past two years and can't wait for more silliness, tender moments, love, and learning.

I love you.

Love, Mom

P.S. You're the best!

Someone....

2011-05-05T12:30:00.000-06:00

.....turns 2 on Saturday!

We decided to decorate for the big day today.

Blonde?

2011-05-03T13:38:00.000-06:00

"Summertime and the livin' is easy"

So, its not summer yet, but this summer I am doing something I have never done. I am going blond.

SAY WHAT!?

You hear me correct. And not just blond, but platinum, bleached blond, Gwen Stefani style.
(Don't worry, I don't have delusions of even looking remotely close to Gwen)

I have always avoided doing this because of the $$$ associated with upkeep of a blondie. But luckily I have a wonderful cousin who is the best hair stylist I know and she has offered to do the upkeep of my hair.

For summer it will be fun. It won't be for the rest of my life I have just always wondered what I would look like blond and in June I will know. Plus, Thane has told me that if I am going to dye my hair again I need to do blond or black cause those are the only two colors I haven't tried before. So for summer, I picked blond. (he still doesn't believe me that I am going to go through with it)

So I am taking a month to prep myself for the lifestyle of a blond.....cause supposedly blonds have more fun, right?

It is going to be a fabulous summer!

1 month old(er)

2011-05-02T13:40:00.000-06:00

It's my party & I'll cry if I want to.

Today Alice is 1 month.

We made it!

Only 5 more months until the golden age of sitting up.

(yes, it is a countdown for me)

Here are a few things about Alice and some similarities and differences from Hobbes.

She doesn't cry a ton, but has gotten a little more fussy this last week, but nothing we can't handle.

Just like Hobbes I can already tell she is not happy in a little body she can't control. I am sure she will be a 100% different child once she starts moving (crawling).

She will NOT take a binky and just like Hobbes gets really mad when you even try to stick one in her mouth.

Just like Hobbes she has no toleration for the swaddle.

It makes her so mad and she concentrates solely on trying to free her arms rather than sleeping.

She wants to be free.

We were able to swaddle her for about 2 weeks.

Hobbes we made it to about 1 week.

As for sleeping.

She sleeps better than Hobbes.

I can actually lay her down for a nap and have her stay asleep.

She is starting to sleep better at night.

Half the night in her co-sleeper, half the night with mom and dad.

She is also the noisiest sleeper in the world which will make it nice when she is in her own room.

She loves to play with her brother.

Or at least he loves to play with her.

She does love when he is around though.

When he is talking her head always turns in the direction of his voice.

She started cloth two weeks ago.

Two weeks earlier than we started with Hobbes because she has gained weight faster.

She is about 8 and a 1/2 pounds currently.

She loves her new fuzzibunz.

This little girl spits up like crazy.

Hobbes maybe spit up a total of 5 times ever, so this is taking some getting used too.

This is probably due to the fact that she LOVES to eat and eats really really well.

Like her Dad, she loves food.

Like his Mom, Hobbes eats because he has to (we make him).

She smiles all the time, unlike Hobbes.

People in line at the grocery store used to try and get Hobbes to smile at him and would do all sorts of stupid silly things and he wouldn't crack a smile, it was hilarious.

Alice is much more smiley, maybe people in line behind us at the grocery store won't have to work as hard.

She loves baths.

She loves the swing, Hobbes hated it.

She loves when people whistle to her, just like Hobbes.

People say that Hobbes and Alice look alike.

She has dark hair & a long slender face.

Hobbes never had dark hair and had a super round face.

To me they look very different.

They look alike when they sleep, that is it, the only resemblance I see, sleeping faces.

Alice is sweet.

We love her.

More Easter

2011-04-29T09:53:00.000-06:00

We had a fun Easter.

There was dying Easter eggs with Granny on Friday.

Then on Sunday we had an Easter Egg Hunt.

Hobbes thought this was the absolute greatest thing in the world.

He couldn't get enough of it.

After finding all the eggs we had to hide them again because he wasn't done yet.

Finally we had to make him come inside, and boy did he complain, so we could eat a yummy Easter Dinner.

Holidays are so much more fun with little kids.

My Life as a List

2011-04-26T19:06:00.000-06:00

Currently there are many things happening in my life. Many thoughts and feelings that I would like to put out there for you as well as remember for me. However, there is just not enough time. So a list will have to do:

Currently jealous of a husband who is away on business in Dallas. He is basking in 80 degree weather and sleeping soundly at night. I am mainly jealous of him sleeping soundly at night. If I could have one wish right now it would be for one week where I could sleep soundly. It has been so long since I have slept for 4 hours straight.
Currently loving my children but can not wait until Alice is sleeping through the night or at least only waking up twice; or at least on a schedule of sleeping during night and napping during day.
Currently wishing I was not so tired.
Currently loving ELMO cause he provides me with much needed breaks in the morning time and evening time.
Currently wishing that my tooth would stop hurting, I do not want another cavity.
Currently wishing that my right breast would spontaneously decide it wants to produce milk so I could nurse from both sides instead of just one. Nursing on one side is not a problem in itself, more it is a selfish cosmetic request.
Currently loving being a mother of two.
Currently loving that Hobbes has decided that helping mom makes him a big boy and so he loves to help all day long.
Currently loving that Hobbes still takes naps. I think I would be dead or almost dead if this wasn't the case.
Currently loving Easter candy
Currently so happy that I indulged a little today and bought two shirts and a skirt that I can't wait to wear and feel sexy/beautiful in
Currently in love with a husband that is so understanding and helpful (even if he is away in Texas; just means he will come back with that much more energy to help and he really is SO helpful, with taking care of children, making dinner, cleaning the house, running errands....what would I do without him?)

Well this episode of Elmo is just about over and diapers need to be changed and kids put to bed, so good-night.

Happy Easter

2011-04-24T13:51:00.000-06:00

I am so grateful that I get to be with my family forever.
They are my everything.
I love them.

Plastic Eggs

2011-04-14T12:53:00.001-06:00

Who would have known that bringing out the Easter basket and plastic Easter eggs today would provide 45 minutes of total entertainment?

I love when Hobbes lets his imagination go.

A whirlwind...

2011-04-13T13:03:00.000-06:00

This last week and a half has been a whirlwind of crazy goodness.

Pictures say it best.

Birth Story

2011-04-09T17:47:00.001-06:00

April 1, 2011: (a stream of thought)

Woke up at 6:00am. Contractions every 10 minutes, not just braxton hicks, this could be the day I give birth, this could be the day I meet my baby girl, this could be the day....

April Fool's. By 7:00am the contractions have all but stopped. Guess it wasn't time, wasn't the day, hopefully she will come before the 7th. I don't want to be induced. I want her to come on her own accord, don't want her or my body to feel forced into something it is not yet ready for.

Hobbes and I take a nice long walk, let's see if we can get things going.

Maybe baby girl knew I needed that extra one on one time with Hobbes on this bright, sunny, warm April morning. I will always treasure it. (our stop for muffins, orange juice, and chocolate milk/our stop to see the backhoe/our running up and down the ramp and jumping to mom/throwing rocks into the plants/looking at birds in their nests) Maybe she could sense how hard it would be for me to have two babies to split up my attention, maybe she knew it would be a harder adjustment for me than for Hobbes, maybe she just knew more than I did and decided to give me a little more time. A few more precious moments with my little boy. As I write this I tear up. The thought of that time having passed me by is still hard for me. It is a hard transition to make. I loved focusing all my attention on Hobbes. I know I will learn to love splitting up my attention, time, and talents with two precious spirits, it will just take time, as all things do. I am still getting to know and connect with this little girl.

We spent a wonderful day in the sun with a contraction here and there. That night we went to Thane's mission reunion. My contractions started up again. I figured they wouldn't last and would just deal with them until they went away. Home. Hobbes in bed. One on one time with Thane. As we sat talking my contractions continued and again I wondered if these contractions would lead to me giving birth soon.

We go to bed. I sleep for 15 minutes and wake to contractions, the real deal. This baby is on her way, my body is getting ready. I try to let Thane get sleep while I deal with the early contractions but he knows what is happening and is restless. My contractions get closer and closer together and stronger. Then they start to get farther apart. I decide to get out of the bed and pace the house, making sure they don't fizzle out. It does the job and eventually I am contracting every two to three minutes. I am restless and tired at the same time and ready to head to the hospital. Enough waiting. This baby is on her way. It is 3:30am and we grab my bag and call my mom to come upstairs to be with Hobbes. Hugs are given, there is excitement in the air. My little boy sleeps soundly in the room next to me with no idea what is going on and how his life is about to change. This pains me slightly as I head out the door.

Once admitted in the hospital my contractions slow down quite a bit. Of course they do. I am sitting in a bed hooked up to a monitor just waiting. Things seem to go slowly. I wait. Contractions come and go. Thane supports me perfectly. Calm as always. Me crying, not wanting to do it, thinking how there is still so much time, I am only a 3. Do I want an epidural? Yes. I had already decided this going to the hospital. My midwife wants me to progress farther first. I don't argue with this. It is 5am and the nurse will check me again at 6:45am. Why so long? They haven't checked me in the last hour. I can get up and move. This will help with the contractions. Get the birthing ball. I stand up to go to the bathroom. There is blood. A lot of blood. I call the nurse. She checks me. I am a 5. Margy (my midwife) is on her way. The anesthesiologist had been called. My contractions grow stronger and stronger with each one. They bring tears to my eyes. I am holding onto the ball, holding onto Thane. Margy is massaging my back. I am getting encouragement and support. It takes 45 minutes to get the epidural. It sets in slowly, the perfect amount. I can still feel my legs and move my feet. Not 100% numb like I was with Hobbes. Not claustrophobic. There is still pain with my contractions but lightened enough to let my mind and body rest before having to push. Thane falls to sleep. I relax. My mom and Mieken show up. I am happy they are here. 9:30am Margy starts getting things ready for me to push. Mardy (the nurse) is helping. They make the room calm and relaxing and yet the excitement of a new person being born is still there. There is no worry and no fear, just joy.

A mirror is put in place. Thane has one leg and my mom and Mieken have the other. My dad is at home with Hobbes. I picture them playing outside on this warm morning. Having fun. Hobbes will have a new sister soon.

Margy doesn't want anyone just watching, she thinks it is too much like people watching a movie or television show. I am not an act to be watched. She wants everyone to participate. They do.

Here comes a contraction......I push. I am not pushing correctly and Mardy lets me know so. She coaches me on pushing correctly/effectively. I am ready for the next contraction. But my contractions are still far apart, just like with Hobbes, they come every 5-6 minutes. This gives me plenty of time to rest between each one and extra energy to push. After a few pushes you can see the top of babies head, she is making her way out. Pressure. So much pressure. But amazingly good to feel. The pressure means it will all be over with soon. Another contraction. 4 strong pushes this time for 10 seconds each. I have the energy, I focus, I push, the head makes its way closer. Another contraction, more pushing, more progress. We get ready to wait another 5 minutes but my body and this baby don't want to wait. All of a sudden I am saying out loud "she is coming!" I watch in the mirror as I push one last time and as the head followed by the tiny body slip out. 20 minutes of pushing and at 10:02am on April 2nd my daughter arrives.

Tears form in my eyes as a gooey, slimy, beautiful baby girl is put onto my chest. Time stands still and through blurry tear filled eyes I look at my little girl for the first time. She is crying loudly but I don't hear it. I can hear my mom and Mieken talking but don't process what they are saying. I look at Thane as he looks in awe at our beautiful little girl. I put my finger in her hand and she squeezes it tight which I understand fully to be the tiniest form of bear hug. She made it. I am so proud of me, I am so proud of her. She looks different from Hobbes, she is her own person. Nothing about this experience has been the same. It was new, it was beautiful.

She is nursing now. All is calm.

April 9, 2011:

It has been a week since this event occurred in our lives. I look back on it fondly. Not ready to do it again anytime soon, but proud. I have a healthy baby girl. I had the best support system in the world, and continue to have them as I now deal with the exhaustion of a newborn. We are still getting to know one another. We are learning to love each other more and more. This is taking more time for me. I love her fully, but know that this love will only grow and look forward to loving her for more than just the fact that she is my daughter, my offspring. I look forward to loving her like I love Thane and Hobbes; for a unique personality.

Hobbes has more love for his baby sister than I could have thought possible. He wants her to participate in everything we do. If we color, then she needs to be coloring. If we play basketball, then she needs to play basketball. He notices every noise she makes and always wants her to have a binky close by.

After his nap today he ran into my bedroom where Alice and I had been napping. He climbed up on the bed and Alice made a noise. He looked at me with a huge smile on his face and said "Alice say good-morning Hobbes." I believe that is what she was saying. You can already feel a love between these two siblings that is amazing and almost unreal. These two truly knew each other and loved each other before coming to this world. I am sure of that. Their reunion is one I don't think I will ever fully understand but I feel an unconditional love between my two children that cannot be denied.

This is joy.

Alice

2011-04-08T10:33:00.001-06:00

My baby girl.
Thanks again Deb for the beautiful photos.

To see more go here.
To have Deb take photos of your loved ones go here.

Alice Dora Campbell

2011-04-06T11:10:00.000-06:00

Alice Dora Campbell

Born April 2, 2011

10:02am

7 lbs

19 inches

We are so happy she is here.

Stay tuned for the birth story.

April Fools

2011-04-01T16:54:00.000-06:00

Today at 6am I woke up to some wonderful, magnificent, glorious contractions that were about 15 minutes apart.....until 7am when they decided to wait longer between each one until they practically no longer existed.

Not a nice April Fool's day joke.

I was all geared up and ready to have a baby today. I kept thinking that "if labor started at 6am then I should be holding a baby in my arms around 2pm/4pm at the latest!"

But the contractions went away, despite the long walk Hobbes and I took in our 72 degree weather and the loads of laundry I carried up and down stairs and the practically no sitting at all today because it was so nice we were playing outside all day in the warm sunshine.

Well baby girl, just know that as your mother I will have plenty of moments to get even for this April Fool's Day joke you played on me.

(better watch out)

The Waiting Game

2011-03-28T21:12:00.000-06:00

Wednesday will mark a week of being overdue.

This baby girl is comfy cozy and doesn't want to come out in this snowy spring weather.

As first this overdue thing was really taking its toll. I was grumpy and irritable and just wanted the baby out. Poor Thane, I think all he heard was me complaining in person, over the phone, and by text, not to mention me complaining to other people as well. I still want the baby out but am happy to report that I am not as grumpy anymore. I am uncomfortable but am resigned to the fact that maybe she will take the whole two weeks given to her and I might as well make the most of it and not have a full grumpy two weeks. What a waste. Oh, I still complain a fair amount. My back is sore and my feet ache by the end of the day and these contractions that are going no where are no fun at all. Then there is the heartburn and the constant un-comfort at night. All the things that come with being REALLY pregnant.

Hobbes was two days early. Not a whole lot early but early non-the-less which made for a whole lot less waiting. I could never really empathize with women who were past their due dates, never fully understood the waiting game. Now I do and I can officially say that it sucks. Yet, I am not willing to take the option of having my labor started for me. Not willing. I would like this baby to come when she is good and ready. Would like her to be fully cooked, would like things to happen as they are intended to happen. In the end, if this baby has to have assistance to enter this world then I will be ok with that, but in the meantime I will wait.

Some days I will wait patiently, happy to just have one child to care for, happy for the moments I get to spend with Hobbes and Thane before another being enters our lives, happy for the nap times that I am not taking for granted. Other days I will wait impatiently. Body aching from head to toe, excited and nervous to meet this new personality that will come to our home in a tiny little perfect body.

Hopefully the wait won't be too much longer, but in the meantime, I will grow more and more at ease with the idea of being a mother of two.

March Snow Puddles

2011-03-25T10:49:00.000-06:00

After watching the giant snow flakes through the window for awhile we got tired of just watching them.

Oh the spontaneity of Spring.

* Baby girl is still snug as a bug within her mom. I blame Thane. He comes home everyday and gives me another reason as to why this baby can't come the following day. He is jinxing it, I know. I told him yesterday that he has to stop with the "baby can't come" talk. I think she is taking seriously what he has to say. Already so obedient. *

2011-03-23T10:48:00.000-06:00

If there is a lack of blog posts by me it is because I am soaking up every moment I have with this little guy before the new baby arrives.

Due date = Today

(will it happen?)

Dear Baby Girl,

2011-03-21T12:35:00.002-06:00

Please come soon.

Love, Your Mom

WARM and WELL

Importance of Play

*update from last night*

Maybe this isn't working....

A quick update, list style

Remembering

Donna Rae [Bartlett] Woolf 1923-2012

Finally!

A desperate reflection (or: I should take the mirrors out of the house today)

Last Year; 2011

Christmas 2011

The Nativity

In His Words (the Father that is).

Welcome to the World

All decorated for Christmas

Sticks

Book Review

...

Thankful in November

Thankful November is almost over

A glimpse of our Christmas

Aquarium

Advent

Walking

The Weekend @ a glance

The internal thoughts of Laina on November 7, 2011

Halloween

An Update + Conversations with Hobbes

Family Portraits

St. George Get Away

And so the Cold Weather had begun, but hopefully won't stay, not yet.

Story of a Grasshopper

Fall activities and Conversations with Hobbes

Dear Alice,

East of Eden: Book Review

Meet "Tag"

Dear Hobbes,

This is The Place 2011

Almost 6 months

Obituary

Roland Matthes

This week

Meine Opa (Roland Matthes April 23, 1913 -September 13, 2011)

10 years

Log Haven, Milcreek Canyon, UT

sometimes...

more conversations with Hobbes

conversations with Hobbes

Into the Pool

Follow the Leader

Great Granny Woolf

Splash Pad

A comparison

5 years

Details of a Home

4 months

Campbell Family Vacation 2011

Swimming in the Rain

Catch Up

July 17, 2011

Dear Alice,

Thoughts

Happy 4th of July!

4th of July on the 2nd of July?

As of late...

shhh.

A wonderful weekend in pictures

Dad, Dada, Daddy

Follow up

summer as a blonde

Faces

Uncle Rudi and his present

motivation?

Our life

***

Mother of Two

Purple

Mothers

Happy Birthday Hobbes!

Someone....

update from last night